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The Professor
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 5:38 pm |
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Lord of Houngon Manor
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Joined: | 30 Oct 2004 |
Posts: | 2873 |
Location: | The Diabolical Dungeon of Solitude |
Bannings: | Anyplace With Good Sense |
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Source: http://seebelowcomicsblog.blogspot.com/ ... es-of.htmlQuote: here's my list of ways that you can write just like my totally excellent comic book stories!
•All stories have to have "conflict," I guess, which is basically a thing that happens when someone has a knife and tries to stab you with the knife and you don't want him to stab you with the knife. The stabbing is like a conflict! Personally, what I think makes for a good conflict is screaming, explosions, or there being a whole lot blood everywhere all the time. If you're writing a big "event" comic, then consider a screaming explosion of blood - that's extra conflicted!
•People say that it's really difficult to write human emotions. These people are dumb - there's only seven emotions, and each of them has a color, and you can't feel more than two at a time. Easy-peasy!
•An "Antagonist" is a guy who throws a lot of explosions at the hero. A "climax" is when most of the explosions happen, and the "denouement" is the part where someone's head gets punched through.
•It's really important to "build tension" in a story. That means you don't just have explosions happen, sometimes the bad guy gets to say something really sarcastic first and THEN the explosion happens.
•All characters have to have motives, which is a thing that makes them want to do the things they're doing. For instance, bad guys? They're usually insane, or zombies, and that's their "motive" for being evil. Now you know what a motive is, but you should come up with your own motive, because those two are my motives and I don't want you stealing my ideas.
•Movies and plays are usually divided into three acts: The Setup, The Confrontation and The Resolution. I don't know why they don't just make explosions of screaming blood happen all the time instead, because that's what I do and it seems to work out okay. I don't even know what a "resolution" is, but I guess it's probably when the hero vows to never let any explosions happen to his loved ones ever again. (PS When he does that is a really good time to get his wife and kids killed)
•Everybody knows the "Big Three" characters, but there are lots of lesser-known characters floating around who have "potential". Potential is a word that means "getting your arms torn off or your heart punched out for no reason". Potential is my favorite thing.
And there you have it - twelve great tips on how to write excellent comics just like me! More than anything, though, I think the most important thing is for a comic book writer to retain his sense of childlike wonder towards the world, to be able to look at it through the eyes of innocent youth - I mean, not TOO young, not like six or seven years old or anything gay like that, but maybe like thirteen. You know, puberty, when everything was really confusing and aggravating but you could get into some of the movies that totally showed tits sometimes or a guy getting stabbed in the chest, and they weren't really any good but they were SHOCKING and provoked a reaction and you confused that with any sense of worth? Either that or also you can just crib from old Mark Waid comics too. Peace out!
-Geoff Johns 
_________________ http://profchallenger.com
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." —Aldous Huxley
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Dave Toxik
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 5:42 pm |
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Mr. Eh?
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Joined: | 12 Mar 2007 |
Posts: | 25349 |
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Probably would have been more amusing if the author did not feel the need to make cheap shots in the intro and summary.
I wonder how much of Johns stuff the author has read?
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The Professor
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 5:48 pm |
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Lord of Houngon Manor
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Joined: | 30 Oct 2004 |
Posts: | 2873 |
Location: | The Diabolical Dungeon of Solitude |
Bannings: | Anyplace With Good Sense |
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THat's why I excerpted the funny part.
_________________ http://profchallenger.com
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." —Aldous Huxley
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Ocean Doot
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 5:52 pm |
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Dendritic Oscillating Ontological Tesseract
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Joined: | 25 Oct 2007 |
Posts: | 51037 |
Location: | Milwaukee |
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How to write totally awesome blog entries like that guy:
1.) Read a whole bunch of comics by a writer you don't like. Then read even more, just to make extra sure you don't like him. Buy everything he's ever done, cause then you can complain extra hard about how he is so bad and wonder why he keeps getting work!
2.) Spend large chunks of your free time considering everything you don't like about that writer. Make a detailed list of all the things about his work that you don't like.
3.) Let the bitterness flow!
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Dave Toxik
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 5:54 pm |
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Mr. Eh?
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Joined: | 12 Mar 2007 |
Posts: | 25349 |
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The Professor wrote: THat's why I excerpted the funny part. Where? 
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Dave Toxik
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 5:55 pm |
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Mr. Eh?
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Joined: | 12 Mar 2007 |
Posts: | 25349 |
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When did Johns write zombies, by the way? I know he wrote a bunch of Black Lanterns. Oh wait, that is because I actually READ THE ISSUES  Okay, there was some stuff that made me giggle, but the article was like those SNL skits that have potential for a 30 second bit that they pad out to 5 minutes.
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The Professor
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:41 pm |
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Lord of Houngon Manor
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Joined: | 30 Oct 2004 |
Posts: | 2873 |
Location: | The Diabolical Dungeon of Solitude |
Bannings: | Anyplace With Good Sense |
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Dave Toxik wrote: When did Johns write zombies, by the way? I know he wrote a bunch of Black Lanterns. Oh wait, that is because I actually READ THE ISSUES  Okay, there was some stuff that made me giggle, but the article was like those SNL skits that have potential for a 30 second bit that they pad out to 5 minutes. again.... 
_________________ http://profchallenger.com
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." —Aldous Huxley
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Ross
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:00 pm |
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Not in Continuity
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Joined: | 03 Jun 2007 |
Posts: | 24101 |
Location: | Massachusetts |
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I feel sorry for all those huge fans of the character Risk. He was so full of potential. The devastating blow to comicdom when this amazingly popular character was mutilated is still reverberating today, that's why we see articles whining about a single panel from six years ago. I weep for all the great Risk stories that could have been told if he still had two arms.
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Ross
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:01 pm |
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Not in Continuity
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Joined: | 03 Jun 2007 |
Posts: | 24101 |
Location: | Massachusetts |
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We are never going to see a big budget Pantha movie, and it's all Geoff Johns' fault.
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Ross
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:03 pm |
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Not in Continuity
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Joined: | 03 Jun 2007 |
Posts: | 24101 |
Location: | Massachusetts |
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Mongal could have been the next Wolverine. DAMN YOU GEOFF JOHNS!
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Nagoo
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 9:56 pm |
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Zielfisch gefunden, Zielfisch gefangen
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Joined: | 12 Oct 2006 |
Posts: | 16227 |
Bannings: | 27 1/2 |
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Ocean Doot wrote: How to write totally awesome blog entries like that guy:
1.) Read a whole bunch of comics by a writer you don't like. Then read even more, just to make extra sure you don't like him. Buy everything he's ever done, cause then you can complain extra hard about how he is so bad and wonder why he keeps getting work!
2.) Spend large chunks of your free time considering everything you don't like about that writer. Make a detailed list of all the things about his work that you don't like.
3.) Let the bitterness flow! You should post these instructions in the latest Simply/Supey thread.
_________________ Nagoo
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Dave Toxik
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:46 am |
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Mr. Eh?
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Joined: | 12 Mar 2007 |
Posts: | 25349 |
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Nagoo wrote: Ocean Doot wrote: How to write totally awesome blog entries like that guy:
1.) Read a whole bunch of comics by a writer you don't like. Then read even more, just to make extra sure you don't like him. Buy everything he's ever done, cause then you can complain extra hard about how he is so bad and wonder why he keeps getting work!
2.) Spend large chunks of your free time considering everything you don't like about that writer. Make a detailed list of all the things about his work that you don't like.
3.) Let the bitterness flow! You should post these instructions in the latest Simply/Supey thread. Well played, actually! Okay, I need to go gripe about Pinkbelly.
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That meddlin kid
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 8:08 pm |
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Biker Librarian
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Joined: | 26 Mar 2007 |
Posts: | 25165 |
Location: | On the highway, looking for adventure |
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Dave Toxik wrote: Probably would have been more amusing if the author did not feel the need to make cheap shots in the intro and summary.
I wonder how much of Johns stuff the author has read? Oh...you mean Geoff Johns didn't really write this? 
_________________ The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls who, when he found an especially costly one, sold everything he had to buy it.
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The Professor
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Post subject: *Excerpt* GEOFF JOHNS' 12 GREAT TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE EXCELLENT COMICS LIKE ME Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 11:41 pm |
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Lord of Houngon Manor
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Joined: | 30 Oct 2004 |
Posts: | 2873 |
Location: | The Diabolical Dungeon of Solitude |
Bannings: | Anyplace With Good Sense |
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That meddlin kid wrote: Dave Toxik wrote: Probably would have been more amusing if the author did not feel the need to make cheap shots in the intro and summary.
I wonder how much of Johns stuff the author has read? Oh...you mean Geoff Johns didn't really write this?  You just made me snortle-laugh! 
_________________ http://profchallenger.com
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." —Aldous Huxley
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