Do I have regrets?
About some things, yes. Not speaking up when I should. Being shy, certainly.
Some relationships that were disasterous. Definitely.
Some friendships I am glad to have made.
Others I do regret. But I can honestly say when I find a true friend.
Someone that shows me true concern and affection in the form of a friend
I am only glad.
I am in stand off mode relationship wise right now.
Too many things for me to even list of what I am
endeavering to correct about myself.
Losing fear is right at the top of the list tho'
trusting people more.
trying to trust the right people.
not allowing myself to be angry all the time
that is a crucial one for me/
but I don't regret having the dear friends i have
especially recent ones.
But i have to be separate from any one until I can be sure
I won't sabotage another relationship
that is my greatest fear right now, not being able to handle
any relationship. I know i will be able to eventually
but it is going to take me time, time i never took before.
to make myself whole again
What I lost after Steve.
I am going to gain it back, I am working on spiritual needs right now.
That helps more than anything else.
That and happy thoughts from good friends.
So no...no real regrets right now
just a happy journey to real happiness again....

Believe me, Audra, I understand a lot of what you're going through now. You're right to work on spiritual needs and good friends. These are what will see you through.

It sounds like a life well lived. Some regrets, but not the kind to fret over.

A friend called me recently. Wanting to know if I was okay about Phillip and all of that. I am okay with it as far as being over him.
I think of him as a brother. He knows that.
I am doing fine, I need to focus on being stronger as a person
Like the song Jewel sings, I will be a stronger woman and my own best friend. I will stick by me till the end, someone I would want my daughter to be.
I think I have heard a little voice say to me, wait just a little while longer. It won't be much longer and everything will be okay.
I just need to do what I need to do first.
Patience and self-control is what I am trying to work on now.
I sometimes become angry over nothing and it worries me
I am struggling with it but I am getting better about it.
I know it will take time to be complete. I am willing to go for the long haul. and I want to be a good influence to my neices and nephews.
Coby said to me the other day,
"I love you too much for you to die."
I told him I feel the same way about him, how is that for a 6 year old...

You're only 6? Wow!

sometimes the only true regret i have is that i had not recognized the great worth of people around me that I love. now a lot of them are gone. I am sure they knew i loved them but i didn't actually say it a lot. that makes me a little sad sometimes.

but i am glad about other things, like the fact my nephews are not shy about saying it.
sometimes it is out of no where and they will say
"I just love you Audra" That makes me happy.

I guess it proves i did something right by them.

I hope my dearest friends know i love them too.

I have nothing but regrets and yet I long for the past anyway.

I regret a lot of the past decade. At this point the only thing I really have to show for it is my job. Which thankfully is one I love. I'm really wanting to do it right!