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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:41 pm 
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Edited by Sorah Suhng.

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The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls who, when he found an especially costly one, sold everything he had to buy it.


Last edited by That meddlin kid on Sun Mar 08, 2009 1:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:47 pm 
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Still Not A Dalmatian In A Jaunty Beret

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Be strong and safe, D.L. It is so hard to read what you are going through - please know we are here for you and that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:49 pm 
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Not in Continuity

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Stay strong, D.L.


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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:35 pm 
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The Modfather; Wizard of WAN

Joined: 05 Oct 2006
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Location: Under the Iron Bridge
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That meddlin kid wrote:
Intimidated


I knew you would be upset when you learned that I had changed the locks on the house. I did this because I felt I had to protect myself. You proved to me that my fears were correct.

You came to my work in a rage. You stormed in through the back entrance and slammed the door to my office so hard the door handle broke off. When we were alone you demanded a key to the new lock from me, or else you would press charges with the police.

I tried to explain that my lawyer and the landlord had both told me that I was within my rights. You went on and on about reasons why that was not so. I began to wonder whether you knew something I didn’t. You’ve witnessed no telling how many divorces among your siblings and friends. Was there some loophole the attorney had not considered? Had I unwittingly broken the law?

He is doing the same thing my ex did to me. Twisting your own doubt and insecurities to suit their own agenda. Don't let him get away with it, no matter how good your intentions might be. At this point I would cease all contact with him and work exclusively through the lawyers. There's nothing down the other road but more heartache and fear for you. Take care.


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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:53 pm 
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Biker Librarian

Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 25161
Location: On the highway, looking for adventure
I consulted with my boss, the head of the Board of Trustees, and decided to speak to the mayor. He came to the library and saw the broken door. I explained to him about the incident and about the court order. I told him he might start hearing false stories about me around town. He called the chief of police and had him come look at it and hear my story. He said he can get a police officer to the house to keep an eye on the removal of belongings, as long as there's an hour's notice.

I'm glad I know people in this town!

I hope this is over with soon.

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The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls who, when he found an especially costly one, sold everything he had to buy it.


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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 6:56 pm 
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I hate bullies. Hearing stories like this makes me extremely angry.

You're taking the right steps with the court order, DL. Do whatever you have to do to protect yourself, and take full advantage of the people that you know in high places.


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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 7:05 pm 
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You really should only deal with him through your attorney or through the police.

Don't ever listen to your adversary-which is what he is-regarding your legal rights. Let your attorney worry about "loopholes" and all that, and let him, or his attorneys, worry about his rights. Not your job anymore.

The only one you need to help now is yourself. Remember that. Your job of looking out for him is over.

I don't believe he has the right to take all these gadgets and appliances. Certainly not w/o a judicial determination.

Write down any incidents that may occur, no matter how minor, as a record. Contact the police if you need to report any incidents.

Remember, he is treating you as an adversary, not a wife. His interest and his thoughts are with him.

I am not saying be vindictive. But don't be a pushover either. He's not entitled to bully, intimidate or take things like that without going through the proper process.

Once you two are not dealing directly, hopefully his anger will calm down. It will be less personal. and you two can separate more amicably.

Don't worry about rumors and telling tales out of school. I am sure the people who know you know the person you are no matter what he says.

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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 3:42 pm 
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Lactose intolerant

Joined: 28 Dec 2006
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Sorry to hear about this D.L.


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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2008 12:49 am 
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How does

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Bannings: fear taste?
Good people on this board, and it sounds like you have a good lawyer. It's also good that some of the higher up civil servants are aware of the situation now. Be safe and take care of yourself, D.L.

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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2008 2:05 am 
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What do you call a camel with three humps?

Joined: 21 Oct 2004
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I was hoping this was just fiction. Take care of yourself, D.L. Your ex sounds like bad news.


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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2008 10:25 am 
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Joined: 26 Mar 2007
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Location: On the highway, looking for adventure
Steve wrote:
I was hoping this was just fiction.


No, it's all true. It's obviously my perspective, but I haven't made up any incidents or put any words into anybody's mouth.

The move is supposed to take place on Saturday. I'll have a police officer present. Common property like appliances will stay at the house until there's a formal settlement. A sister is supposed to come by on Friday to come get some family photos. I don't know why that can't wait until the next day. Mom and Dad think there's something suspicious. They've even told me to check and see whether there's anything taped to the backs of any of the pictures! I'm just going to put any pictures I can find in a box and set them out on the porch. Nobody's coming into the house until Saturday.

I've told my lawyer about the arrangements. I hope the move goes well. It'll be a real relief to feel like the house is really my own, even if it will look kind of bare in places.

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The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls who, when he found an especially costly one, sold everything he had to buy it.


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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2008 4:51 pm 
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Joined: 08 Aug 2004
Posts: 11850
Location: Georgia
Use it as an opportunity to rearrange the furniture. :)


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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 6:46 pm 
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Biker Librarian

Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 25161
Location: On the highway, looking for adventure
The move has been put off for a week due to transporation issues. That gives me more time to prepare...but also means it's longer before this part of the business is done.

In the last couple of days, especially today, I've been realizing just what a toll all this stress has been taking. I've been having trouble concentrating, I can't sleep well at night, I can't relax much in the evenings. Some people at work have told me they're amazed that I'm even still functioning on the job. The job has been stressful too. Today I've had to deal with disgruntled employees and an upset patron (Who happens to be my attorney!). I've discovered that a library policy needs clarification and I'm not sure where to go with that. I haven't been able to take a single vacation day off since all the separation stuff began, and don't know when I'll be able to.

On my morning walk I was followed all the way by a stray puppy. I couldn't find anyone around to help with it, so I shepherded or carried it all the way home and fed it. With everything else I can't deal with one more thing to take care of, so I called the city pound to take it. Now I'm worried that nobody will claim it before the deadline. I guess I'll check some time before then.

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The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls who, when he found an especially costly one, sold everything he had to buy it.


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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 8:40 pm 
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It scorched

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That meddlin kid wrote:
Today I've had to deal with . . . . an upset patron (Who happens to be my attorney!). I've discovered that a library policy needs clarification and I'm not sure where to go with that.


Yeah, if you don't clearly post "Pants Required" the attorneys will take advantage every time.

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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2008 8:48 pm 
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Not in Continuity

Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 24101
Location: Massachusetts
What breed? It's hard to resist a puppy following you home.


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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2008 12:20 am 
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Sorry to hear about what you're going through, D.L. My sister's in a similar situation. I hope things work out for the best.

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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Tue May 06, 2008 6:23 pm 
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Biker Librarian

Joined: 26 Mar 2007
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Location: On the highway, looking for adventure
Today I got the back charges on my electricity bill (which M.K. had allowed to fall overdue) paid. I was one day away from getting service cut off.

When it rains it pours. We had a threat of unpleasantness from a disgruntled library employee who accused us of some things we hadn't done. I think today we got it headed off safely.

EDIT

I meant a disgruntled library PATRON, not an employee. No problems there, at least.

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The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls who, when he found an especially costly one, sold everything he had to buy it.


Last edited by That meddlin kid on Thu May 08, 2008 7:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2008 12:11 am 
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How does

Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 20170
Location: Keystone City
Bannings: fear taste?
Piece by piece you seem to be getting it dealt with. I hope it stays working properly for you D.L.

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"I'm right 97% of the time. Who cares about the other 4%?"


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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 7:18 pm 
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Biker Librarian

Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 25161
Location: On the highway, looking for adventure
I ran an online credit report yesterday and learned that my name is associated with over $15,000 worth of debt. This is on accounts and cards in both our names. I know there is much more that is not in my name. I would think that surely I can only be held liable for half of what is in both our names. But I don't know. Perhaps I'll also somehow be liable for debts contracted while we were husband and wife, even those I never knew anything about or had anything to do with. Perhaps I'll find myself stuck with more than my share after a default. I just don't know. I've got to speak with my attorney about that. In a best-case scenario I shouldn't have much trouble paying my share down. I'd consider that a bargain, even if I lost most of the household appliances in the divorce settlement.

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The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls who, when he found an especially costly one, sold everything he had to buy it.


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 Post subject: Intimidated
PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 10:27 pm 
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How does

Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 20170
Location: Keystone City
Bannings: fear taste?
Yes. Ask your lawyer. Find out what level your liability is. I hope that you only have to be held liable for whatever you were involved in purchasing.

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"I'm right 97% of the time. Who cares about the other 4%?"


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