Ok here we go. The 2008 IMWAN Presidential Elections. This thread officially starts the season off for us here at IMWAN, and with this being an election year I'm looking forward to a large voter turn out. So let's go over the process again.

Who is eligible for Presidency?
Any registered member of IMWAN. If you are NOT registered, then you cannot run for IMWAN President.
You must have a minimum of 100 posts to run for IMWAN President. So folks need to start padding their post counts now if they intend on running and only have like 8 posts.

Who can vote?
Any registered member of IMWAN. If you are NOT registered, then you cannot vote for IMWAN President.
There is NO minimum post count to vote.

Can Canadians Participate in the Election and Voting?
Yes. Unfortunately Canadians can. Any registered Citizen of IMWAN can.

Can Inanimate Objects and Animals Run for President?
Things like couches, keys, and seals? Hmmm... Off the cuff I'll say no. Unless there is a huge uprising of several thousand registered inanimate objects and animals that will try to change my mind for future elections, the answer for this election is no. But they will be allowed to vote in the election.

What Are The Responsibilities for this position?
This position has NO authority or importance whatsoever. It is very irrelevant, as is IMWAN. The only duties that will be expected are:
1.) An Acceptance Speech
2.) Every three months from the election month (July, October, January) for the next year you will be expected to present a "State of IMWAN Address and/or Update".
3.) If you are defeated the next year an Outgoing Speech.
4.) Be an Irrelevant Figurehead for IMWAN.
5.) Nothing.
6.) Probably the most important thing is being an Ambassador for -WAN- both here and across the InterNet. There is NOTHING more important than being WAN*. You must be the embodiment of that.

How to Run for The Presidential Position:
If you would like to run for IMWAN President you must declare your candidacy in this thread. You must have:

A Name
A Party Name
A Platform, Stance, or Focus for your campaign

You must also PM me with the same information so when I make up the ballot I won't forget to put you on it.

Deadline to get your name on the ballot will be Monday, March 24th at 12:00 Midnight. The election will start Tuesday, March 25th and will end Sunday, March 31st. The person with the highest amount of votes will win. The new President will be installed on Monday, April 1st.

Write-ins candidates are more than welcome, and will be completely and totally ignored by me in one of my mosts fantastic and outrageous abuses of Judicial Power. Any write-in votes for write-ins will be ignored also. As well, write-in candidates and those who vote for write-in candidates will be Ruthlessly Beaten by myself. If I am tired I will let Jeff and DAC take over for me.

Any questions and discussion about the election in general should be posted here.

Suggestions:
~Once you've declared your candidacy, start your own thread to promote your party line. All discussion and questions about your candidacy should and will be answered there. But be ready because your opponents can post in your thread and call you out on the issues, or just outright call you names.
~Make, or get someone to make some cool banners for signature lines. Post it in your party thread. This way your supporters can have something to show they are on board with you.
~Don't wait until the last minute to get your name on the ballot. Get in the game early on and get some mud slinging!
~As Robbie suggested in the WANderground, you might want to be a person of The People. Visit all the areas of IMWAN and get to know folks. Have a pulse on what the people are talking about. And you just never know what kind of dirt you can dig up on your opponents to use against them!

Not Suggestions:
~KEEP IT CLEAN UPSTAIRS! Have at it downstairs.
~I will not tolerate a candidate who has purposely stunk up an opponents thread in an effort to get it moved downstairs.
~Don't start several different threads for your candidacy unless it's one upstairs for proper interaction and one downstairs for all the rest.
~Don't start several different threads for slinging mud at your opponents. Same as above. Do that in their thread!
~Relax, don't take it personal. If I find it's starting to get unWAN I will ask you to remove yourself from the election. This IS IMWAN, let's have fun with this!

Now, let's show all the real US Presidential Candidates how to really run an election.

Excelsior!

*If you don't know what "Being WAN" is then you are not ready to run for IMWAN President.

Hmmm.

Please let me state clearly, that if nominated I will not run, if elected I will not serve. If bribed, however, I will endorse.

Thank you.

I wouldn't stand a chance.

I'd vote for you just on the strength of your avatar.

Bump for the Monday Morning Crowd.

With that avatar you might.

IAWTP

I'm with Taft and Sisko - the winning team. Nobody could possibly be more irrelevant than those two.

Change - it's not what it used to be.

Vote for Taft and Sisko. You know it makes sense.

Or....not.

It is with much deliberation and after consulting my private staff (yes, I do mean that private staff. What else have I got to do?), I have decided to throw my hat in the ring. Mostly because it's an old hat, a ring of power, and a font of cliché.

So: Vote for Uncle Twitchy of the Empty Container of Rat's Asses Party. I promise change -- loose change, a change of pants, a change in the way we, as members of IMWAN -- as, IMWANkers, if you will, or even if you won't -- look at ourselves (because, I mean, just look at yourself. What would the neighbors think?).

And remember:

Sit on Uncle Twitchy's lap
Bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy
Sit on Uncle Twitchy's lap
Bouncy bouncy boy!

There's some candy in his pocket,
Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle
There's some candy in his pocket,
Hey! You've found a toy!

The National Apathetic Party would like to nominate...........
















never mind, we'll do it later.

To this point Taft has not thrown his hat into the ring. He will have to meet the above criteria as everyone else. It is not automatic or assumed that he is/will run.

Was that as painful to type as it is to read?

Even if I were to run, I'd vote for Eric and Frank,
or,
Frank and Eric, should they deem things that way.

BTW, when does Taft rise to the IMWAN Supreme Court?

Me, too, probably.

Taft will not become a Judge.

I am the Supreme Court.

My fellow IMWANkers,

It is with sad heart and sagging stomach that I, Eric W.H. Taft, the longest serving president in IMWAN history and the proudest head of state ever to eat six eggs and toast for breakfast, make the following announcement. This has not come without a great deal of soul-searching, study, thought, and intense alcohol consumption.

Yet it is the decision that must be made both for Taft himself, as well as the entire Taft Clan (up to and including Uncle Bob).

It is what I must do.

I, Eric W.H. Taft, have decided that YES, I WILL run for reelection.

Yes, I WILL run to once again serve you as president of IMWAN.

YES I WILL be the best damn tub-stucking president to ever get stuck in your tub.

Yes I can.

And with your help ...

Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!


My exploratory committee has been formed and will begin searching for polyps. My slate is all but set. My PLATE is full and ready to be emptied. Support the Freakin' Awesome Party and you support a brighter, better, fatter, fuller IMWAN.

Support Taft and you support the most important thing of all.

Me.

Um...I don't see my name anywhere in that last post.

Taft had a secret plan to nominate you Narcissist General, but feared that revealing that before the election would hurt his chances.

You don't take all your weapons out at once.

This is not even worthy of a response.














shit

This could be strategy, or it could be me getting fired in the near future.

Stay tuned.