This is a continuation of The Adventures of Swiffy the Brave, I advise you read that before reading this.

A few things you should note:

Due to where I've opted to take the story, the tone will be somewhat different than Swiffy, also, unlike Swiffy, I actually know where I'm taking this story.

--------------------

Prologue

It has been 20 desolate years since the disappearance of Swiffy the Brave (or 20 glorious years if you were to ask the evil Lady Desrenatu, but why would you do that?), and up until this moment this omniscient narrator has had little good to speak about (and I really hate giving bad news).

Today this changes, let me draw your attention to Randy, whom many believe to be the last person to talk to Swiffy (excusing Lady Desrenatu of course). Randy, who was only a child at the time. Randy, who swore on that faithful day to find Swiffy, for only he can kill Desrenatu. Randy, whose training is almost done.

But I think I'm getting ahead of myself, some things need explained, 20 years is a long time, and there are things you need to know before this story can be told. Twenty years ago, after the disappearance of the great Swiffy the Brave, son of Lyses the Wise, the Lady Desrenatu entered the small village of Hevelplexie with a limp due to a severed foot and carrying the corpse of Magdeline, "Oh the meek of this town, you are nothing without your savior Swiffy, and he is gone," declared Magdeline, "He is gone, and I am queen!"

Silence fell, broken only by the screams of villagers upon seeing Magdeline. The silence continued until Lester, a grief-stricken villager who had been quite close to Magdeline and Swiffy yelled, half crying, "What have you done to Swiffy? Is he alive?"

"He's alive, and that's how it will remain, but all you need to know is that he can do no harm to me."

"Then I will kill you myself!" yelled Lester, he picked up a nearby shovel and struck Desrenatu against her head, the shovel splintered and broke into hundreds of pieces at the handle and she remained perfectly unharmed, "What black magic is this?"

"Not black magic," said Desrenatu laughing, "It is as white as magic comes, it is the work of Swiffy's father himself."

"That's impossible, why would he help you?" asked Lester.

"He didn't, he defeated me in battle by preventing my creatures from entering my castle, but a curse is a tricky thing, they require one of two things, time and planning, or great sacrifice. Lyses the Fool did not have the former, so he opted for the latter, in order to save his son from my clutch he placed a curse around my castle, preventing my own creatures from entering, but he also made it so only his own kin could defeat me, he had no family save his so, and with his son out of the way, I am unstoppable."

Silence again as the reality and horror of the situation sunk in, again Lester broke the silence, "If what you say is true, why is Swiffy still alive?".

"He serves my uses better that way!" cried Desrenatu before dropping Magdeline and raising her hand toward Lester, "Mortarus Ventorum!" she yelled, Lester's eyes went blank and he fell to the ground dead. "If anyone else wants to question me, they are welcome to do so," she said, moving her hand in a nice circle, sure to thoroughly threaten the entire amassed crowd.

As her hand moved around, it created a wave, whatever the direction it pointed, all in that direction tensed with fear, all but one. Randy, only a child, blinded by the wondrous optimism of youth was the only one who dared to consider what everyone thought, "Swiffy's alive," he thought to himself, "There's hope, and I must find him. She calls us 'meek', I don't even know what that means, but I Randy the Meek, shall become Randy the Brave, I shall rescue Swiffy."

That very night Randy the Meek, only a child, packed a bag, and without as much as saying goodbye to his parents or friends snuck past the beasts whom Desrenatu placed on night guard, he didn't know where he could go, he didn't know who to go to, but he knew what he had to do.

He had to rescue Swiffy, for only he can kill Desrenatu.

To be continued…

Excellent start.

Thanks, expect Chapter 1 to come soon.

We return to the present and look upon Randy, now an adult, musclebound with a sword strapped to his back he reaches his right hand to grab on to the a jutting out part of the mountain that he is now perched upon about halfway up. The right hand grabs ahold and then while pulling himself up he extends his left hand to grab hold of the next jut. Then his right hand again. Then his left.

He repeats this action several times, trying to push all else out of his mind, trying to think only of the task at hand, but he can't. He's too excited. After twenty years of waiting, he's almost there, he's almost ready to rescue Swiffy from Lady Desrenatu, Swiffy who's been kept as her prisoner for those twenty years. Randy thinks of the trials he's gone through, the training, the pain, and thinks about how his misery is nothing to the hell that Swiffy must be withstanding at the hands of Desrenatu.

He smiles as thinks about how his training will soon be over and how Swiffy's torture will be over not too long after that. He's on his final trial, to reach the top, a multi-dayed journey to be completed alone, every Warrior in the kingdom has done it going back hundreds of years, it's only a symbolic afterthought at this point, he's been ready for years, he doesn't have to prove this to anyone. Thinking about this he raises his right hand and grabs the next jut, he pulls himself up extending his left hand towards the next jut when suddenly it moves away from him and Randy realizes he's falling.

He grabs the rocks in front of him but they're going too fast and he can't get a grip, suddenly the falling stops with a loud crack.

He is overcome by pain, he knows where he is, he slept here last night.

Before falling into unconsciousness he hears soft footsteps followed by a voice, "So, you must be Randy."

To be continued…

I'm trying something new, I'm gonna tell you when the next chapter will come out before it comes out.

Chapter 2 will be posted Saturday, stay tuned.

I'm sorry about the massive Rose Growing, I've just been feeling very uncreative of late.

I'll try to get this up soon enough.

Swiffy lied nearly naked on the ground in a dark room, he was covered in cuts from to head to toe, some old, some new.

Desrenatu walked toward the cell motioning to her guard to open the cell and she walked in her left foot making a small clicking noise with every step due to the enchanted living onyx that was now her foot hitting the stone, "So, Swiffy, I don't suppose there's anything you want to tell me."

Swiff was barely able to talk, and he really didn't feel like talking today anyways, so it worked out.

"Talk!" Desrenatu kicked him square in the chest with her foot of onyx and his chest gave a crack, "How can you not know? He was your own father."

Swiffy still said nothing, he had nothing to add to what he'd been saying for the past twenty years, he knew nothing that she wanted to know, well, nothing that she could think of anyways.

"Fine, I guess we're back to this," Desrenatu said bending over, she put her nail to Swiffy's skin and with her razor sharp talon cut into his skin, she positioned her finger in such a way as she was holding a fair bit of Swiffy's blood on the tip of her finger. She walked out and said, "Assuming this still doesn't work, I'll be back in a week, ciao."

Swiffy lied motionless on the ground, the fresh would bleeding onto the ground, he tries to cry, but there simply isn't enough water in his body.

To be continued …

Randy awoke in a daze, he wasn't sure where he was, but he had a good idea, he was in a cave, but it was unlike any other cave he'd ever been in, it was obvious that someone was living in here.

A hermit by the looks of it, on a shelf he saw a walking stick, and in the corner he saw a rather sizable pile of KISS records and what appeared to be a cassette of the soundtrack to "Little Shop of Horrors", though it was at a distance and he had trouble being sure.

Huddled over in the corner he saw the back of a man, he figured this must be the occupant of this cave, then suddenly he remembered what happened, he'd fallen, and he'd heard something.

A voice, an attacker? "You!" He yelled, "What did you do to me?" He got out of bed and felt a sudden sharp pain in his leg and he collapsed.

"Don't try to stand," said the man in the corner, though it became apparent both by the pitch of voice and getting a good look at the person that this person wasn't a man at all, but rather a woman, a very old woman.

"Too late for that," Randy said, lying helpless on the ground.

The woman laughed, "I suppose you're right," she walked to Randy, picked him up and placed him on the bed, "I did all I could, but some wounds even magic can't heal, you'll never be able to stand on your own again."

"But, but, my training, my –" mission, maybe? I guess we'll never know for sure what he would have said, because Randy cut himself off, for he had just gotten a good look at the woman who'd, he knew her face, and he knew her name, "Desrenatu."

"I thought you'd recognize me," she said sorrowful.

"What do you want with me? Why have you brought me here?" he cried, he knew that there was no certainty of success, he knew that Desrenatu was strong, but he had never really wanted to think about what would happen if she won, now he had no choice, "You can't win, you can't."

"But I haven't, not yet, you can stop it."

Now Randy was just confused, "What?"

"I am the Lady Desrenatu, so is the woman who took control of Hevelplexie."

"What?"

"I was born a long time ago, I don't even know how long anymore, I am Lady Desrenatu, first daughter of Lord Hevelplex."

"What?!"

Damn, let me backtrack a bit and explain the significance of this.

The tragedy of Lord Hevelplex is a legend of two faced man, depending on the source the exact source of his power is different, but the gist of the idea is that a peasant (whose name also differs from source to source) was given great power, great strength, and made the greatest warrior to ever live, but due to the nature of duality and balance found in most forms of magic he was cursed to live two lives, one as hero, one as villain.

One day he would be Lord Hevelplex the Brave, champion of the people, protector of the meek, loved by all.

The next day he would be Lord Hevelplex the Wicked, murderer, thief, scoundrel, scorned by all.

He is the greatest hero and the greatest villain ever known, the village where he was born was later renamed "Hevelplexie" and a few thousand years later a young boy named Randy was born in this very village, now I think you're caught up, sorry about that break in the flow, won't happen again.

"Yes," said the Lady Desrenatu, "And the day after his death, I woke up, and I was two people, one good, one evil."

"How are you still alive?" Randy asked.

"I, by which I mean the other me, has gone to great lengths to extend her life, because we are connected, as long as she lives, so must I."

There was a silence as Randy tried to take in this whole situation and decide whether to believe the woman who was standing next to his bed, he decide that if she wanted him dead there was plenty of opportunity for her to do so, besides, the Desrenatu he knew is too full of herself to live like this, even for the sake of a trap, so for now he will give her the benefit of the doubt.

Then Randy asked, "But, what about my mission?"

"Well," Desrenatu said with a smile, "Finish it."

"How can I be a knight? I can't walk."

"There are other ways to be a hero, Swiffy's own father was not a knight, he was a wizard, I sense strong magic in you, as strong maybe even as him."

"You knew Lyses?" Randy asked.

"Yep, taught him everything I know, how do you think he was such a good match against me?"

"Why did he never tell anyone about you?"

Desrenatu took a deep breath and said, "Well, that would probably be because I asked him not to, my other half doesn't know that her immortality is also my immortality, I'd like to keep it that way."

"But, the last 20 years the training, have they just been a waste?"

"Yes and no, you learned your enemy, that's important, but your training, none of that will do you any good now, but you're strong with magic, stronger than me, but not as well trained, I've had much longer than you have, but I'm a good teacher, I think you will catch on quickly."

Randy stopped to think, this was coming at him too quickly, "Are you sure you can't fix my legs?"

Desrenatu nodded, "Healing has always been a talent of mine, there's nothing I can do."

"Okay," Randy said, "I see no choice, when do we start?"

"Right now, meet me outside."

"But I can't walk, how do I get out there?"

"You see that walking stick up there," Desrenatu pointed to the walking stick on the shelf, "Use that."

"Then get it for me."

"No, that's your job, you're a wizard now, distance means nothing, grab it yourself."

"But I don't know the incantation, I don't know the words, how can I get it?"

"Magic, true magic, is not about the words you use, but the meaning you put behind them," she explained, "So called 'magic words' or 'incantations' are merely a crutch used to focus thoughts, a truly great wizard doesn't even need words."

Randy unsure stuck his hand in the direction of the walking stick and said "Walking stick come," nothing happened.

"You can't rely on the words having meaning, you have to put the meaning into the words, simply saying something won't do."

"Antaren Stentelsky."

"That's better, keep trying, I'll be outside."

A half an hour went by with no results, Randy had even gone as far as to switch up the gibberish he was saying every now and then, still no affect.

"Damn, this is so stupid, why did I believe that woman anyways" Randy said with a huff, "Me a wizard? I can't even get a damn walking stick, put the meaning into the words, what does that even mean?" Randy put his hand towards the walking stick without looking and said mockingly "Abra Kadabra!" he chuckled to himself and looked over and the walking stick was gone, he rolled back over and felt a rather unpleasant and large lump in his bed, he felt it and knew it was made of wood "Whoa," he said.

To be continued …

I have come to the inevitable conclusion that the Education of Randy the Meek was a bad idea from its conception.

Taking a moronic festival of boredom littered with inane pop culture references and attempting to turn it into a "fantasy epic" (or whatever the hell I was going for) was a flawed idea and I am officially declaring this storyline retconned out of existence until I care enough to try to revive it in some fractured and heavily modified way.

Please stay tuned for the next installment of the Swiffyverse, which will take the story back to its roots and which is tentatively* titled "The Death of Timothy the Bored".

Followed very closely, possibly concurrently, by "The Further Adventures of Swiffy the Brave" (aka what I should have been writing when I wrote Randy the Meek).


*Like I will put enough thought into this to actually feel like changing the name between now and when I write it