...

Hudson Hawk

...

Okay, I remember the bad press this movie got back in the early nineties. I didn't think it looked that bad, though.

So, I just finished watching it for the very first time.

...

What.
The.
Frak.
Was.
That.
???

Okay, I won't say that it was the worst film of all time...mostly because I haven't seen all the films ever made.

I can't even quite say that it is my all-time most-hated movie (I'm looking at you, Armageddon)...at least this one had the good grace to make about a buck fifty in the theatre.

But...

...

What the hell were they thinking??!??!?

Okay, I kinda got the vibe that maybe (MAYBE) they were making a kindofa Hope/Crosby Road movie or something (only with more cursing). The bit about the golf bag seemed to be the only real tip-off to that, though. Mostly, though, it was Bruce Willis doing a bad (!) Joe Piscipo impression or something...

...naw, that's not quite right...

How about Bruce Willis doing a bad Joe Piscipo impression of a bad Bill Murray impression. Or something.

...

Wow.

Seriously. I really wonder how stuff like this gets made.

Although, I will say that CSI: Miami would be immeasurably improved if Horatio Cain only spoke in 3"x5" cards.

Hudson Hawk was bad, but it wasn't LAST ACTION HERO bad.

I liked Last Action Hero. Made me laugh out loud lots.

A friend of mine is notoriously bad at recommending movies to me*. One of his picks was Hudson Hawk. He raved about it for weeks. He figured I'd love the movie as much as he did. So one day I was over at his place and we watched it together.

What a pointless waste of time.

It's a bad movie. And it has very little, if any, redeeming qualities. It's not even that type of bad that makes it watchable. It's damn near train wreck bad. The wreckage is horrendous.

Hudson Hawk is punishment in movie form.

*Another one of his can't miss movie suggestions was Boondock Saints. Ugh! Useless and stupid movie.

Comparing Hudson Hawk and Last Action Hero is like comparing which brand of rusty saw you would rather be cut with.*

IMHO.





* Okay, this is over-the-top hyperbole, of the sort I normally don't condone. But, yeesh, what an awful movie!!!!

Yep. I couldn't believe it was just starting when I sat down to turn on the TV for a couple of minutes. Within ten minutes, I was wondering if I should just turn it off.

Naw, I thought to myself. It can't keep being this bad!

O, how wrong I was. I just kept watching it to see how much worse it could get.

And it just kept getting worse.

I mean, I was happy when Danny Aiello's character got blowed up, and supremely pissed off when he showed up again at the end.

And the characters acknowledging the fact that it was a stupid justification as to why he survived didn't help any.

The running gag with Bruce Willis not being able to drink his cappuccino wasn't funny. I did find it amusing that the movie was marketed as an action picture instead of a comedy. It is true though. There is far more action than laughs going on.

About the only gag that was kinda funny (and, really, not for long) was the bit with the light-up crucifix's whenever the Pope Police had to talk to ol' whatshername.

Although David Caruso in a dress is pretty funny.

I saw Hudson Hawk once when I was maybe 14 years old, and I liked it at the time. I was also discovering the Hope/Crosby Road movies at the time, and loving them, so that was probably part of why I liked it.

I only saw Hudson Hawk in the theater, but I recall liking it well enough. I know I went against the grain in that preference since everyone else at the time (pretty much everyone now) lambasted it.

So Ian doesn't like Armageddon or Hudson Hawk. The common denominator in both of those is they star Bruce Willis. Hmmmm.

Don't go dragging Armageddon through the Mud. That was a great Movie.

"Bunny, ball-ball."

I liked Hudson Hawk, even if it WAS a Clinker! (And the Mrs loved Last Action Hero. That's one of the things that interested me. She was the only person I knew at the time that did!)

What other common denominator do these two films share...

* They are both worse than Death Becomes Her - Goldie Hawn is hawt as a blood-drained dead chick!

* They are both slightly less plausible than Die Hard - I love that movie...but, realistic?

* I've seen both of them, unlike Blind Date - no power in the 'verse, I tells ya.

* Neither of them have a creepy dead kid, unlike The Sixth Sense - although they both could have used a surprise ending...preferably one in which all the main characters died a slow and agonizing death.

* I don't own either of them, unlike Unbreakable - great special features on that DVD...too bad there weren't more of them, though.

* They both featured main characters doing their own singing...I don't have any other Bruce Willis movies to compare with this. So I'll just say that I loved GRINDHOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My eyes are still bleeding from having watched that "film" -- in the theater, no less.

I just realized, like some feh feh pih go, I made a gorram FIREFLY reference in this post.























See what I did there?

And I have NOT been able to get this song outta my head all day

Who was the creepy dead kid in Sixth Sense?

I liked Hudson Hawk. It was supposed to be that bad... it was a joke, and I liked it.


Stop looking at me like that.

And yes, I WOULD like to swing on a star.


My PEEEENNNNNSSSSIIIIIOOOONNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I read some of your posts to my wife who loves that movie.

My wife says that I have to post that it was a wonderful movie, and if I can't admit that then she just doesn't know where we are.

So. It was a wonderful movie.