Show TV commercials for K-Tel records.

Offer free air at gas stations.

Create fake names for spoofs;e.g.,"Tom Bruise" for Tom Cruise (Mad magazine maybe still does this).

They don't give free gifts with a full tank of gas anymore, either.

Have a special showing of Saturday morning cartoons on the Friday morning after Thanksgiving.

Change the font in the CBS logo every July.

Tan M&Ms.

That thing where you'd get a free Big Mac if you said "twoallbeefpattiesspecialsaucelettucecheesepicklesonionsonasesameseedbun" as one word.

Have someone in the department store whose job it was to operate the elevator (there were always older ladies who did this job when I was a kid and they'd give you lollies and stuff). They had uniforms and wore white cotton gloves and I found it reassuring for some reason.

Make cartoons that don't have some sort of link to a movie franchise or line of toys (or both). I used to like weird stuff like The Impossibles or Frankenstein Junior. Or Grape Ape. That stuff just sort of existed for its own sake. They don't do that anymore.

Pump your gas for you.

Sell TV sets in wooden cabinets that made them look like furniture.

Open all the windows at school when there's a tornado warning out.

Build schools with windows that open.

They do in Oregon. In fact there was some controversy during the last election over a new law that made self serve gas legal.

They pump gas for you in New Jersey, as well.

Never been to either state, so I can see how I missed that. I had supposed that self-service had long since become the norm everywhere in the U.S. Thank you for correcting my ignorance.

Several stations around Minnesota still provide free air for your tires.

But they do. So many of them. Do you have Cartoon Network in Oz? Lots of shows on there not tied to toys or movies (although many do have toys after the fact, they were not like Transformers, say, and inspired by a toy line).

Work for chump change (deliver newspapers, mow lawns, shovel driveways, babysit).

Give cool toys in cereal or cracker jack boxes (real compass, heat-sensitive that change color).

Deliver milk, says bff.

Put wod paneling on cars (good thing, too).

You're welcome. It's an NJ state law. In fact, I heard a former governor brag about it on the radio the other day .

They don't bring you flowers...

they don't sing you love songs...

They don’t say Dodge in the Ram truck commercials.
They don’t put the word Mountain on Mountain Dew cans or bottles. Everything is MTN Dew.

They do out here.

Ted gets fresh cough drops delivered every morning.

They don't proudly tell you that your TV shows are "IN COLOR" anymore.

They don't fly men to the Moon anymore.

They don't tell you to order your government pamphlets from Pueblo, Colo., anymore.

I had the attendants absolutely FREAK OUT when I got out of my car to pump the gas in Oregon a couple of years ago. I had no idea they had that law. Two of them literally running at me and shouting. I had no idea what the hell was going on, thought I'd started a fire or something.

And I miss all of those things, some much more than others.
I now I kind of want a new Black and white TV show that proudly displays "IN BLACK & WHITE" during the credits.

TV ads don’t refer to a competitor’s product as “Brand X” anymore.

Motels no longer advertise color TV on their signs.

They don't say "Kentucky Fried Chicken" any more.

Teens no longer mow lawns, or deliver newspapers.

Not true. The kids in my old neighbourhood did this every spring and summer