I've never objected to those role-playing games, but they can be dangerous if you're not careful....

Another Day, Another Dungeon

The members of the party could see from the Mage’s werelight that they had come to rest in a chamber a little larger than the common room of a good-sized inn. The Mage herself had flopped down on a stone block about mid-way through the chamber and just finished catching her breath. The party’s Cleric and Thief sat on either side of her. The latter, who was not in very good shape as thieves went, was still panting a bit. A fourth party member, a Ranger, stood peering through the entrance through which they had just come, an arrow nocked and ready. The final member, an armored Paladin, stood on the far end watching the chamber’s exit, sword at the ready.

“I think we lost them,” said the Ranger.

The Cleric turned to the Mage and shot her a reproachful look. “I, like, really wish people would learn to stay out of their uncle’s studies.”

The Mage rolled her eyes. “Once again, Ashleigh, how was I supposed to know that Uncle Frank’s custom hex dice had real magical powers?”

“The way they went all glowy every time you handled them didn’t, like, tell you something?”

“And we’ve been over that before too. I thought it was a harmless glow-in-the-dark novelty, like those `Kryptonite rocks’ advertised in Uncle Frank’s old comic books.”

“Caitlynn’s right,” said the Ranger. “We all played multiple turns with them before anything weird happened.”

“And then Jeff had to go and roll them while chanting that crazy incantation he, like, read from one of his geeky books.”

Now the Thief shot the Ashleigh a look. “I wouldn’t talk too loud if I was you, Miss Can’t-Tell-A-Kobold-From-A-Dwarf!”

“I’m sorry I’m not, like, uber-well read on RPG stuff!” Ashleigh snapped. “Anybody can make a mistake! I think those Kobolds were, like, real jerks for getting so mad about it.”

Caitlynn ignored the argument and glanced in the direction of the chamber’s exit. “Do you see anything, Brandon?”

“Nothing,” said the Paladin.

“How about you, Ashleigh? Do you sense any potential threats nearby?”

“Why are you, like, asking me?”

“Because at the beginning of this dungeon mission we agreed that I’d provide the werelight and you’d monitor for threats, remember? It’s one of your Cleric skills.”

“Oh, yeah. Like, why did I get turned into a Cleric, anyway? I wanted to be a Swashbuckler!”

“Ash, will you just concentrate on the job?” Caitlynn pleaded. “Keeping up a scan for threats is important when we’re in a dungeon.”

“I know, I know!” Ashleigh closed her eyes and concentrated.

A moment later they snapped wide open. “Guys! There’s, like, something coming! It’s, like, just past Brandon!”

Brandon stepped back from the exit as if something had bit him. “Thanks for the early warning, Ash!” he said sarcastically.

The others had just gotten to their feet when the presence that Ashleigh had sensed shambled into the chamber in the form of a trio of skeletons clad in light armor. Each bore a rusting sword in its right hand and a gold bracelet around its bony left wrist. The bracelets, and the helmets atop the grinning skulls, bore a common insignia. Right now nobody in the party was in any mood to notice that particular detail.

“Holy Harryhausen!” cried Jeff the Thief.

Brandon tensed, sword and shield upraised. “I’ll take care of these guys!”

“Brandon, wait just a moment!” Caitlynn warned.

Brandon ignored Caitylnn and charged the skeleton warriors. As he charged he uttered what he meant to be a battle cry. His companions, who had heard it before, found it a bit too high-pitched to be convincing. Nobody felt like commenting.

Brandon’s fighting form was no more professional than his cry. Against the slow-moving skeleton warriors it was enough. His clumsy blows hit them hard, decapitating and dismembering. A few moments of screaming and slashing reduced the skeleton trio to a heap of disarticulated bones. Brandon stood back and panted.

“Dude, that was kind of impressive!” said Jeff.

“Hey, thanks, man,” Brandon said between pants.

Jeff walked over to the skeletal remains and began sizing up the accoutrements that lay mingled with the bones. “Let’s see…three swords, three helmets, three brigandines…all in really bad shape. We might get fifty bezants for the whole bunch at scrap prices. The swords ought to still be good with some cleaning. Maybe we could negotiate a hundred if we’re lucky.”

“That’s just about enough to pay off our debt to the outfitter,” said the Ranger. “Then we can start working on the money we need to undertake our quest for the Cavern of Winds and the dimensional portal that might help us get home. We’ve just got to keep it up!”

“Glad you’re good at looking on the bright side, Chase,” said Brandon. “We’re going to need that while we keeping grinding our way through this low-level dungeon, trying to pick up enough loot.”

During the whole conversation Caitlynn had stood with her eyes closed, quietly chanting. “Hey, Cait, what are you doing?” Ashleigh asked.

“Whoa!” Jeff shouted. He started up from the pile of bones and loot he had been examining and fell over backwards.

Before anybody could ask what was up, they were able to see for themselves. With a dry rattling sound the bones magically began to rise into the air and join back together. Within moments the three skeleton warriors had fully reassembled.

“Aw, man!” said Brandon in a weak voice.

Jeff frantically crawled backward, screaming as we went. Chase loosed a useless arrow at the skeletons. Ashleigh stood wide-eyed, for once unable to speak.

And Caitlynn, pointing her Mage’s staff at the three enemies, completed her chant with a great shout. A flash of brilliant flame sprang from the staff. The skeleton warriors ignited in a burst of heat and light that had everybody covering their faces. Within moments there was nothing left of the three skeletons but ashes and a pile of accoutrements.

“That’s what I was doing,” said Caitlynn. “If Brandon would have waited a few moments for me to enchant his sword, I think they would have gone down for good the first time. Anyway, they’re finished now.”

Jeff got to his feet and tentatively stepped toward the remains. “Hope the loot’s okay.”

“It shouldn’t even be too hot.”

Jeff carefully picked up a bracelet. “You’re right, it’s just a little warm. Don’t know why I didn’t notice these things before.”

His eyes brightened. “Hey! I think these bracelets are real gold! Cait, we’ve got, what, fifteen bezants in the purse right now?”

“Yes, I believe so,” said Caitlynn. “And enough change to make two or three more.”

“Hand me the bezants,” Jeff demanded, his voice excited.

“What?”

“Just hand them to me! I want to get an idea of how much one of these bracelets weighs.”

Caitlynn counted out the fifteen bezants into Jeff’s waiting palm. He took a bracelet in the other hand and carefully hefted one, then the other. “One bracelet weighs at least as much as fifteen bezants. Probably a little more.”

Now Ashleigh got excited. “Gold’s worth, like, ten times as much as silver around here, isn’t it?”

“The usual rate of exchange is about eight and a half to one,” said Jeff. “Let’s see…three bracelets, times fifteen, times eight and a half….”

“They’d be worth about three hundred eighty-two and a half bezants,” said Caitlynn.

“Yeah! At least that! I’m pretty sure they actually weigh a little more. Plus at least fifty for the rest of the junk. We’ve picked up well over four hundred bezants in this drop!”

“We still owe a hundred or so,” said Brandon. “And we wanted three hundred to start our quest. This puts us over the top! Whoo-hoo!”

“We’ve still got to get out of the dungeon first,” Caitlynn cautioned.

They had a few tense moments when they had to sneak past a Kobold sentry on the return journey. Otherwise the return to the dungeon’s entrance posed no problems. It was early afternoon the following day when they finally emerged. This gave them enough daylight to get several miles away from the entrance before camping—far enough to considerably improve the safety of their camp. They spent a miserable, wet night without incident. Another day’s journey through sporadic showers took them to the settlement where they had made their headquarters.

It was almost dark when the weary band reached the outskirts of town. “Never thought I’d, like, be glad to see this dump again!” Ashleigh said.

“We shouldn’t have to see it for too much longer,” Chase said. “I can’t wait to cash in, purchase supplies, and head for the Cavern of Winds!”

“Can we, like, take some of our winnings and rest at a good inn for a couple of days first?” said Ashleigh. “With some hot baths, and sleeping in a bed and not, like, out in the rain for a change?”

“I’m with Ashleigh!” said Caitlynn.

Jeff did a histrionic double-take. “Hold the phone! Did Ash and Cait just agree on something?”

“I think it’s happened, like, twice before,” said Ashleigh.

“Three,” Cait corrected.

Ashleigh didn’t try to argue the point.