Here it is. The long awaited imWAN Presidential Elections. Watched over by the impartial, and newly evolved Judge NEO. This election will run 6 days and end on April 1st - April Fool's Day.

This position has NO authority or importance whatsoever. It is very irrelevant, as is imWAN. The only duties that will be expected of you is ever quarter or so, for the next year, you will be expected to present a "State of imWAN Address and/or Update", so as imWAN President, you'll need to be in good touch with everything that's going on at imWAN. If this goes well, and everyone likes it, we will run the elections again next year the last week or so of March to coincide with the election ending on April 1st.

The Ballot is as listed. You can have write ins to your hearts content, but they will not be counted because I don't feel like counting them. Yes, an outright abuse of authority right there, but there's been plenty of time to get your name on the ballot.

So prepare to exercise your God given right as a registered imWAN Citizen and VOTE. If your not registered and just lurking, here's a good chance to jump in and get going.

To the Candidates, please sling as MUCH mud as possible. Good luck, and Godspeed.

I've never gotten to vote for a President before!

Your support is, as always, sincerely appreciated. Being President Taft isn’t all just fun and games and bathtubs. It’s a job, and a responsibility I take very seriously.

No silly gimmicks. No explosive promises. Just Taft.

Taft is like veneral disease, you always get more than you bargained for.

Is this allowed? We're allowing Canadians to vote now? Is he illegal?

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Taft is old and busted.

DAC is the new hotness.

The whole "old and busted / new hotness" thing is old and busted.

There's a party goin' on right here...a Wild Drunken Party!

Doesn't this ugly walrus look exactly like TAFT??

Ya damn right!!

Taft is like the Clap, He keeps on giving

The stench of desperation is strong ...

Will you be less verbose than Taft?

Possess less girth?

and tell us about your bowel movements less often, or perhaps even, not at all?

So basically everyone has voted for themselves, and some people running have not yet bothered to vote.

Sounds like a real election.

By WH Taft.

I could post the entire contents of the New York City White Pages, and be less verbose than Taft. I could sit here, and hold down the letter 'K' on my laptop for twenty minutes, post it, and STILL be less verbose than Taft. Tolstoy read some of Taft's posts and said, "Damn he's a wordy sonuvabitch, ain't he?"



What I lack in girth, I make up in gravitas.



The closest you'll get to knowing my bathroom habits is when I pull the laptop in there and post while on the can.

Like now.

Oh, and if it'll make you happy, I think Spider-Man should be married.