Well?!?!?

I'd hire Geoff Johns to write him. But not to start off with his origin, because only hack writers start at the beginning.

I mean, let's forget about "saving the website" and posters' rights and "every thread is someone's first" -- we've drove that topic into the ground. Also, let's not do the old "I'd get Rafael and Doot to work on him!" routine.

Overall, what would your creative approach be to a guy like Hanzo? All superheroes, all the time? Go a "smart sci-fi" route with a Vertigo kinda thing? Would you diversify his posts to a great extent? What would his brand be? More horror or Western threads? Romance posts?

What would your ultimate Hanzo be like?

Geoff Johns?

You wound me, sir. Or rather, I'll wound you by tearing off your arm or whatever once Geoff starts the project.

Man, you're a real bastard.

I'd start with some steep hills, Then once mastered start running him at the beach. Finally run him up some steep hills at the beach.

It seemed to work well for Paul Westhead at Loyola Marymount

Interesting, thanks.

To become Ultimate Hanzo, he would have to die first.

Two words: Before Hanzo.

Sounds a little morally dubious, but I suppose we have every legal right to go ahead with it.

You are not speaking an untruth.

I'd chain him to his drawing table and tell him he doesn't get paid to erase.

Lots of unecessary pouches.

I thought Hanzo already had that...

Whoa.

I mean, if you can... it it had a... I mean, it could just be...

Whoa.

...

If you can get super-geniuses like JMS and Brian Azzarello, all the better.

How would I run Hanzo? Into the ground, baby!

Written by Bob Budiansky and Pencilled by Jose Delbo.

With brief flashes of genius by Simon Furman and Geoff Senior thrown in for good measure.

I'm thinking an old-school "Hanzo - Year One" treatment, with Ron Frenz on pencils, Sal Buscema on inks, written by Jim Shooter.

I would start from the beginning. Really reconstruct the guy. Ask the tough questions about his motivations. Did he decide to start posting on the internet because it was easier than getting a pen pal? Did he have a pen pal first then turned to the internet when that pen pal was murdered while they were Skyping together? What is his obsession with putting penises in other people's posts?

These are the things that the fans have been dying to know.

I thought this was cleared up in the Crisis of Infinite Hanzos.








Or was that Infinite Doots?

One thing to keep in mind is that gayness is built into Hanzo. I’m not using gay in the pejorative sense, but Hanzo is very, very gay. There’s just no denying it. Obviously as an IMWAN poster, he’s intended to be heterosexual, but the basis of the whole concept is utterly gay.

I think that’s why people like him. All these women fancy him and they all wear fetish clothes and jump around rooftops to get to him. He doesn’t care -- he’s more interested in hanging out with Rafael and Li'l Jay.