Hanzo was raised a strict Catholic, and attended the international Catholic school Saint-Michel in Fribourg, Switzerland. During his time at the school he rejected the church's interpretations of the Bible, and developed an interest in astronomy and the phenomenon of flying saucers. At the age of 19, Hanzo was caught stealing money, both from an innkeeper and from a camp where he was employed as a youth leader, and was given a four-month suspended sentence. The psychiatrist who examined Hanzo at the time described him as displaying a "tendency to lie". Hanzo The Razor was withdrawn from his school, and became apprenticed to a Swiss hotelier for a time, before moving to Egypt. While in Egypt, he was involved in a jewelry deal which resulted in a nine-month conviction for fraud and embezzlement upon his return to Switzerland. After his release, Hanzo became the manager of the Hotel Rosenhügel in Davos, Switzerland, during which time he wrote "Larsen, My Sweet Larsen", supposedly working on the manuscript late at night after the hotel's guests had retired. In December 1964, Hanzo wrote an article entitled Hatten unsere Vorfahren Besuch aus dem Erik Larsen? ("Did our Ancestors have a Visit from Erik Larsen?") for the German-Canadian periodical Der Nordwesten. "Larsen, My Sweet Larsen" was accepted by a publisher in early 1967, and printed in March 1968. In November 1968 Hanzo was arrested for fraud, after being caught falsifying hotel records and credit references in order to take out loans to the value of $130,000 over the course of the previous twelve years. He had been using this money to fund foreign travel to research his book. Two years later, Hanzo The Razor was convicted for "repeated and sustained" embezzlement, fraud and forgery, with the court ruling that the writer had been living a "playboy" lifestyle. Hanzo entered a plea for nullity on the grounds that his intentions were not malicious and the credit institutions were at fault for failing to adequately research his references, but a court-appointed psychiatrist considered the defendant to be fully accountable for his actions, and described him as a criminal psychopath. Hanzo was sentenced on 13 February 1970 to three and a half years imprisonment and fined 3,000 francs. He served one year of this sentence before being released. His second book, "Mighty Muggs & Me", had been published by the time of his trial, and its sales allowed him to repay his debts and leave the hotel business. Hanzo wrote his third book, "Hookers from Outer Space", while serving his prison sentence.
Hanzo the Razor's real name was James Hanson. He was a physician, surgeon, scientist, adventurer, inventor, explorer, researcher, and, as revealed in OK Computer, a musician. A team of scientists assembled by his father deliberately trained his mind and body to near-superhuman abilities almost from birth, giving him great strength and endurance, a photographic memory, a mastery of the martial arts, and vast knowledge of the sciences.
Hanzo is also a master of disguise and an excellent imitator of voices. "He rights wrongs and punishes evildoers." Mother Teresa described Hanzo as a mix of Sherlock Holmes' deductive abilities, Tarzan's outstanding physical abilities, Craig Kennedy's scientific education, and Abraham Lincoln's goodness. Ronald Reagan described Hanzo as manifesting "Christliness."
Hanzo has spent too much time reading posts by Ocean Doot. It's eroded his will to live!
Sadly he's not alone in that endevour. Hell we've had to start a support group to cope with the trauma. Right now membership has reached 769 people and that number is only growing.
_________________ I'm forever blowing bubbles,
pretty bubbles in the air,
they fly so high,
nearly reach the sky,
then like my dreams,
they fade and die.
Fortune's always hiding,
I've looked everywhere,
I'm forever blowing bubbles,
pretty bubbles in the air.
UNITED! UNITED!
West Ham United fight song.
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