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 Post subject: I'd like your opinon on a character
PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 12:45 am 
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The character's name is Monster.

Image

Basically I'm wanting to play with the idea of social separation. A friend of mine was disfellowshipped from my religion, which means until she is allowed back in none of her friends who are Jehovah's Witnesses (of which I'm one) are to speak to her, even to the point of not greeting her. That level of social ostracism is a part of the creation of the character.

She is beautiful/normal looking but if someone looks at her full face they have a paralyzing, traumatic experience. The (unexplained) effect if to hit them with the weight of every morally wrong decision they've ever made all at once, overloading their conscience and their minds.

The only explanation as to how this happens is vague, tied into something that happened to her and/or that she did. Sometimes the comment is made of someone who is having to endure either extreme shame or guilt "How could they show their face?" That is her, that is why she is called Monster.

Further, the idea is that this is somehow imposed, not something coming from her own power. Likewise she cannot be killed but can be hurt (easy escape is not allowed, not even death) So her journey, her arc is one of redemption from the unforgivable. It boils down to a play on Medusa, the woman who could turn men to stone with just a look, this time she is the main character, the hero of the story, if you can use that word)

The costume is a simple mask with an "M" on it, along with normal clothes. She has money but isn't one of the super rich. Her character is a realist, an enforced pessimist and someone who is sharp tongued with idiots. She's obviously not a popular person, most people move to the other side of the room when she walks in. Her power is a nuclear option. It's room clearing and absolute but also one she hates.

I keep thinking there's something missing, like there's an aspect she's missing that would make her jump out as a character. The truth is that good stories make good characters but I keep feeling like there's on small piece she still needs.

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 Post subject: I'd like your opinon on a character
PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 8:51 am 
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She needs a wise-cracking robot or dragon sidekick.

Otherwise, I think it's a neat idea and one you should continue to explore. If there's something missing, it'll come to you organically as you tell her story.


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 Post subject: I'd like your opinon on a character
PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 9:34 am 
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Not in Continuity

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I'm surprised Monster has never been used as a name before but I can't think of another example. I like the concept and simple but instantly recognizable appearance. The reaction to seeing her full face does sound a lot like Ghost Rider's penance stare though, you might want to tweak it enough to make it a little more unique.


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 Post subject: I'd like your opinon on a character
PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 10:07 am 
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Ancient Alien Theorist

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It sounds like an interesting character for a team but I'm not sure it can carry a book on its own. You'd need a strong supporting cast at least.


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 Post subject: I'd like your opinon on a character
PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 1:20 pm 
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Ross wrote:
The reaction to seeing her full face does sound a lot like Ghost Rider's penance stare though, you might want to tweak it enough to make it a little more unique.


That occurred to me as well. In addition, the concept reminds me of Nathaniel Hawthorne's story "The Minister's Black Veil." Read that story if you haven't already. It's not very long. It might give you some further ideas, especially regarding the character's effect on others that she meets.

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 Post subject: I'd like your opinon on a character
PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 1:24 pm 
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Her nemesis has to be a sociopath, to whom the effects of her powers would be nullified.

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 Post subject: I'd like your opinon on a character
PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 11:33 pm 
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Hanzo, I considered a team book but I worry that if she's in a team book that she'll turn into a John Byrne character.

I'm considering something of a Doctor Who approach, where the she's an investigator, a monster hunter. That would put the focus on the plot but also double play on the "MONSTER" title. I'm a real big fan of single issue stories.

The initial story idea I had started with a Superhero coming to a town saying that he had heard there was a monster in town. The people point the way to her and we get a mini origin story (with her basically not wanting to talk about it) and a demonstration of her power as the hero pushes her into pulling down the mask.

He ends up quivering in a corner as people begin to run past the building in panic. She looks outside and there's a building sized monster coming their way. She tries to rally him but he's unable to go. As she approaches the (other) monster, she says "When the heroes fail it's up to the monsters to save the world"

She walks up to this horse faced thing and challenges it, to see which of the two is the greater monster. The thing only bellows in answer. Then she pull her mask down and says to it "look at me" It does casually but then suddenly cannot look away. It's face displays a growing horror and the the whole of the monster appears to turn to stone before collapsing into pieces.

Bowing her head down to fix the mask, she says something along the line of this not being a victory, but a defeat for her. She was the greater monster of the two.

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 Post subject: I'd like your opinon on a character
PostPosted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 2:24 pm 
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Hey-ho-a-lina

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A monster's monster

From a really bad trip to an evil dentist, or a dental x-ray machine gone wrong; or she's paying for vanity surgery that went horribly wrong and now she must pay for that moment of vanity forever; hey, why make it a vague reason?

I would think she would need some focus to her anger. What are her personal parameters and motivation for using her powers? This would help provide personal and moral conflict. (Like the monster hunter idea.) There should be some kind of revenge temptation that she must constantly resist. Or not. Like consultations with plastic surgeons or creating havoc at beauty pageants.

She is clearly accepting of her name Monster and considers it accurate. Why is she good with this? Especially if she uses her power mostly for good? Something to expound on.

An obvious personal plot line would be her take on the Beauty and the Beast thing for her own personal love life, or yearning thereof. The Kiss That Kills.

Many social gatherings are based around the dining table, yet she must eat alone. And if she, too, is an ostracized Jehovah's Witness, then perhaps she determines to celebrate her birthday, alone, of course. That could be an opening scene setter. Or watching the children at Christmas. She must protect herself from destroying children.

Showdown: "That makes me smile, Bad Boy. Would you like to see me smile? Well, do ya, punk?"

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 Post subject: I'd like your opinon on a character
PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 7:19 pm 
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Dan, I think that a physical explanation won't work. In a world where Goatse and rotten.com exist suggesting that here's a mystic explanation is the only way to go. Nothing physical could be shocking enough.

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 Post subject: I'd like your opinon on a character
PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 9:36 pm 
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Hey-ho-a-lina

Joined: 10 May 2009
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Gotcha. But it still could have been just the right, or wrong, combination of physical, emotional, spiritual, mystical, artifact and/or wrong place/wrong time that triggered it or opened the pathway that created the unfortunate tragedy. It was a tragedy, yes? Or was she an intentional victim cursed by something or someone? And what would be her understanding of what happened to her, and would it be an accurate analysis? Personally, I need an origin explanation, whether mystical or otherwise. And I usually need it before I can completely understand a character I create. Mysterious just for the sake of mysterious usually doesn't work for me. That's why the X-files didn't work for me too much, along with the fact that the answer is apparently still out there somewhere. (I'm not saying you're doing that, I'm just streaming, at this point. It's your fault I'm even pondering this frightful bitch. I have enough trouble understanding the frightful bitches in my own life.)

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