...that you were disappointed to learn were not true.


For me: Vanishing Creme makes you invisible.

That Firestar didn't exist ... 'cause she was hot.

I one time blew pepper in my brother's face to make him sneeze. Cartoons said nothing about eye irritation.

I was bitterly disappointed that falling a great distance only resulted in broken bones and not, as I had been led to believe, in my body being turned into an accordian.

Or, leaving a Frank-shaped hole in the ground.

Mice do not sleep in a sardine can nor do they have matchbooks or empty spools for furniture.

You can't walk through mirrors and end up in magical wonderlands of fun and sharing.

Obviously, you're not walking through the right mirrors.

The Flash can not fly like Superman.

One can not change clothes inside a filing cabinet.

Rollercoasters do not, generally speaking, deposit their passengers to alternate worlds containing multi-headed dragons.

Frogs can't sing, even if you are the only person around.

(More later.)

When you seperate a cat from his tail, you cannot reattach it using household masking tape.

Rabbits do not enjoy dressing up in women's clothing and wearing makeup.

If you shoot someone in the face with a shotgun, it will not make their hair blow back and cover their face with ash.

A Tasmanian Devil doesn't really look like that.

Panthers are not pink, sly, nor do they try to beguile French police inspectors. They tend to eat them, if their paths were to ever cross.

No ant-eater has anywhere NEAR the since of humor as Jackie Mason.

Holding up 5 colorful rings doesn't summon the power of Captain Planet.

Green cats with yellow stripes do not appear in nature. It is not wise, nor practical to attempt to create one yourself.

You obviously don't know the same rabbits I know.

Well, bunnies, anyway.

I was really disappointed that cinamon redhots didn't give me Underdog's powers, even if I put them in a ring with a "secret" compartment.

Ducks and rabbits are neither enemies nor false friends, they can not conduct complex negotiations about whether or not it is, indeed, Duck season or Rabbit season and these negotiations, were they indeed to take place, would not conclude with the discharge of a gun and a beak spinning furiously around a duck's head.

"Let'th try that again....."

lmao

Sonic boomerangs do not exist. And, not quite from a cartoon, but if you throw your top-hat into the air, it will not become a cool flying ship. Damn you, Lidville!

In a related note, the greatest earthquake ever known will not shunt you into a pocket dimension that once served as a waystation for a dimension-hopping race of insect-reptile people whose civilization collapsed into barbarism.

Pity, that.

Thing Rings do not, in fact, do their thing.

Two words: X-ray Specs.

That you can't get your car to go really fast by taking out the floorboards and using your feet for propulsion.