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Bubbles
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Post subject: Every once in a while, a comic comes along... Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 5:26 pm |
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Joined: | 28 Jul 2005 |
Posts: | 21507 |
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...that destroys your faith in humanity.
Recently, for me, that comic has been Ultimate Iron-Man.
Let me preface this rant with this:
I love the Ultimate Universe, I hold it in equally high esteem as the regular Marvel Universe, even more than the current books coming out of Marvel. I like Ultimate Spider-Man, love Ultimate X-Men, love most of Ultimate Fantastic Four, love The Ultimates, really like Ultimate Galactus, am utterly indifferent to Ultimate Daredevil/Elektra. I'm not prejudice against the Ultimate Universe, and I would even say that I like Ultimate Iron Man/Tony Stark better than his regular Universe counter part, however this shit ruined it for me.
Let me start by saying why I like the Ultimate Tony Stark, he was a man with a terminal illness whose last wish in life was to leave the world better than he found it (note the past tense), he was a man who was a model philanthropist who used his money to built the Triskelion and to fund the Ultimates, not for personal gain, but because it was a good thing to do. He invented the Iron Man armor to help him in this cause, he spent his money and intelligence (which he had a good helping of) building armor with one purpose (to help people) and no marketability (if for no other reason than because each unit would cost about $10 million). He was also a flawed man, he drank, in excess, this wasn't because he had been abused as a child, or because his wife left him, or any of the other reasons that people in fiction are often portrayed as turning to liquor, it was because he had a weakness, no other explanation need. He was just an alcoholic, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, super-genius and that's how I loved him.
Now let's talk about how Ultimate Iron-Man sent out a heat seeking missile and destroyed this character from the inside out.
Spoilers appear from this point on, though don't worry, I wouldn't recommend you read it anyways.
The story starts with Tony's dad Richard (I think) Stark. His wife leaves him with a rival business man taking a sizable amount of Richard's stocks with her, she takes these stocks to a rival business man who uses these stocks along with others he has obtained to take control of Stark Industries.
Meanwhile Richard Stark is working on a bacterial based body armor (that is an obnoxious shade of blue) that you can spread on your skin and that will eat things as they try to harm you, however the obvious problem is you can only wear it for about an hour before it tries to eat you, they are working on this problem.
Richard Stark's new love is pregnant, and while working in the lab she is infected with some sort of some such that starts wrecking havoc on her immune system. This thingy starts growing new nervous tissue all over her body, and she is in excruciating pain because of this, it is also killing her. The unborn child has also been affected, however it works different on fetuses than it does on adults, so it won't kill him, however he will have grey matter spread out all over his entire body. That's right, he isn't smart, he's a freak with grey matter spread through out his body.
Tony is born in excruciating pain, Richard barges in and puts some of his bacteria armor on Tony, it deadens the pain by keeping harmful elements like air away from his super-sensitive body. So Tony is blue for the first few years of his life, also bald (the crap eats his hair).
Richard is po' and run away from his company by rival business guy and slutty ex-wife. A few years into Tony's life rival business guy kidnaps Tony, Tony kicks him in the crotch, for some reason Tony's foot falls off, but because of his nervous system thing, it grows back (so Tony is now Wolverine). Rival business guy is caught and sent to jail, ex-wife realizes he's a loser ass and gives Richard his stock back.
Tony decides that he is satisfied with his dad's armor stuff (which is now transparent and doesn't eat his hair), so he decides he should make his own armor. So Tony no longer makes his armor to help the world, he makes it to one up his dad and to protect himself from the natural elements, Tony is apparently still in constant pain.
Tony is at a party and sneaks some booze (despite being quite underage), he realizes that alcohol completely shuts off his natural pain, so instead of it being a weakness, the fatal flaw that made him a hero in the classical tradition, it's self medicating his freak brain nervous system pain.
And the worst thing about all this is, is it would have been an okay book, if it hadn't been Iron Man, it was well written, it was well drawn, and the comparisons between Iron Man and it could have easily been shrugged off as almost not there.
If Orson Scott Card had taken this pitch to IDW, Dark Horse, or Vertigo under a different name, they would have bought it, they would have figured that he's a well known Sci-Fi writer and it would probably sell, and bought it.
Yes that was a long rant, but I needed to get it out.
_________________ Refractory innuendos
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John V
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Post subject: Every once in a while, a comic comes along... Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 6:19 pm |
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Joined: | 18 Aug 2004 |
Posts: | 5481 |
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I agree Jacob - most Ultimate books are great..this sounds like crap. Glad I passed when it came out.
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Steven Clubb
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Post subject: Every once in a while, a comic comes along... Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 6:24 pm |
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#NeverThor
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Joined: | 01 Mar 2005 |
Posts: | 26316 |
Location: | Dorne |
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Hey, I liked Ultimate Iron Man
I haven't read it, but someone has to say that in every thread bashing a book.
_________________ I reserve the right to be spectacularly wrong.
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MILFbait
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Post subject: Every once in a while, a comic comes along... Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 6:25 pm |
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The Kilted Wonder.
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Joined: | 02 Dec 2004 |
Posts: | 30668 |
Location: | Out of his mind... |
Bannings: | I wouldn't count on it... |
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Did they even finish this series? As I recall, it took forever between the first two issues.
_________________ "Don't look back, you're not going that way."
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Steven Clubb
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Post subject: Every once in a while, a comic comes along... Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 6:31 pm |
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#NeverThor
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Joined: | 01 Mar 2005 |
Posts: | 26316 |
Location: | Dorne |
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You young punks and your complaints about late comics.
In my day, we had HARD BOILED and we liked it and said, "thank you, Frank, may we have another?"
_________________ I reserve the right to be spectacularly wrong.
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Bubbles
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Post subject: Every once in a while, a comic comes along... Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 6:41 pm |
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Joined: | 28 Jul 2005 |
Posts: | 21507 |
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MILFbait wrote: Did they even finish this series? As I recall, it took forever between the first two issues.
The TPB I was reading ended with a "To be continued..."
_________________ Refractory innuendos
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Ian Sokoliwski
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Post subject: Every once in a while, a comic comes along... Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 6:57 pm |
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King of Goth
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Joined: | 09 Sep 2004 |
Posts: | 29332 |
Location: | The Sprawl |
Bannings: | I'm judging you. |
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I liked the fact that Stark was the only real human in a world of super-humans, and found a way to deal with them. Even the Extremis thing doesn't completely ruin that (although it does taint it quite a bit).
Ulty IM, though - well, I like to defend all the other changes to the other MU characters in the Ulty universe, so I guess it would be somewhat hypocritical of me to say that this completely sucks and ruins the character (after all, it isn't the real Stark...).
But. Well, I'm not buying that book, let's just leave it at that.
_________________ Go take a look at IANTHECOMICARTIST.COM - you know you want to!
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Steve Kipling
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Post subject: Every once in a while, a comic comes along... Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 6:59 pm |
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Joined: | 18 Jan 2006 |
Posts: | 6403 |
Location: | Canada |
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I bought this mini series, and it did indeed stink,for all the reasons listed above.(it also ended in an unsatisfying manner)I will never buy the sequel.
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Bubbles
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Post subject: Every once in a while, a comic comes along... Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 7:06 pm |
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Joined: | 28 Jul 2005 |
Posts: | 21507 |
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Ian Sokoliwski wrote: Ulty IM, though - well, I like to defend all the other changes to the other MU characters in the Ulty universe, so I guess it would be somewhat hypocritical of me to say that this completely sucks and ruins the character (after all, it isn't the real Stark...).
Not hypocritical at all.
All the Ultimate books I've liked have kept the core elements of the character intact.
Peter Parker is still a gawky teenager, Reed Richards is still a super genius, Johnny Storm is still a hothead, many of the surface details have changed, but the core elements have remained for the most part still there.
Here there is nothing of the original remaining, and you can't use the "It's not the real Stark" defense here, because Ultimate Tony Stark existed prior to this miniseries, and this miniseries ruined that character.
_________________ Refractory innuendos
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Ian Sokoliwski
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Post subject: Every once in a while, a comic comes along... Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 7:09 pm |
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King of Goth
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Joined: | 09 Sep 2004 |
Posts: | 29332 |
Location: | The Sprawl |
Bannings: | I'm judging you. |
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Well, to be fair, Ultimate Vision is pretty far removed from the 616 Vision, but pretty damn cool nevertheless.
But, then, I don't think many people are as invested in either version of the Vision as they are with Starky-Warky (grey goo or no grey goo).
_________________ Go take a look at IANTHECOMICARTIST.COM - you know you want to!
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Bubbles
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Post subject: Every once in a while, a comic comes along... Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 7:14 pm |
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Joined: | 28 Jul 2005 |
Posts: | 21507 |
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Haven't read Ultimate Vision, so I can't judge.
The Vision has "appeared" in two forms in the Ultimate Universe, the first form was a throw away line in an issue of The Ultimates, Hank Pym was pitching his idea for a robot called "The Vision" to General Fury, Fury was passing down the idea, while this was happening there were helper robots wandering around, Pedro and Wanda were walking, Wanda made a movement, Pedro asked "Were you just flirting with that robot?"
Later a feminine featured Vision appeared in the Ultimate Galactus series to warn of Galactus's coming.
Both of these versions I liked, I'm waiting for Ultimate Vision to come to a library near me, look forward to reading it.
_________________ Refractory innuendos
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