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Eric W.H. Taft
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:05 pm |
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Joined: | 14 Aug 2006 |
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Location: | Die, Marti Tracy, die |
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This deserves its own thread.
Okay, so you're a super genius scientist guy, right? You can invent some crazy amazing stuff. CRAZY amazing! Do you:
1) Make yourself really, really, really, really small
2) Do something else
3) Do anything BUT make yourself really small
4) Invent something useful, like a toaster that doesn't burn toast
5) Beat your wife
Hank Pym made himself small. Says quite a bit about the way he thinks of himself, I think. Self-esteem issues.
So later you get this annoyingly flighty but super cute and adorable chick to hang around with you all the time, throwing herself at you and willing to face danger just to be with you. Do you:
1) Get jiggy wit it, boo-yah!
2) Beat the snot out of her
3) Demean her, degrade her, and insult her like she's a 12-year-old girl
4) Avoid her sexual advances like the plague
5) 2, 3 & 4
Hank Pym got issues, son.
And Wasp. What does she even do? She buzzes around and looks at men. Wow! What a talent! Sure, sure, later in her career she managed to turn the tide when the Masters of Evil took over Avengers mansion. That was pretty good. And yeah, she eventually became a pretty good leader in her own right. By being really, really small. That's good, too, I guess.
But I think she's just an enabler.
Ant-Man and Wasp, what do they even DO? They get small and have ants do all their dirty work for them. Big deal! Okay, Ant-Man climbed around inside Vision once, but so did the Scarlet Witch (and vice versa), so no points there.
Hank Pym made the right choice when he decided to get bigger instead of smaller.
Janet van Dyne? PICK A COSTUME ALREADY!!!
Discuss.

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Judge WAN
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:26 pm |
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He Keeps WAN with his BANgiver
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Joined: | 01 Aug 2005 |
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Location: | Mega City WAN |
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hi i lik this thread, and i alwayzed liked the yelo jaake,t teh best because he chould flie and shoot enerfgies fr,om his hands than you
_________________ Aren't you glad you talked about this? Here, on IMWAN?
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Bolgani Gogo
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:28 pm |
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Joined: | 11 Aug 2004 |
Posts: | 22582 |
Location: | Fredericton, New Brunswick |
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Hmph. Hank Pym's not a wife-beater. Nothing that happened after 1970 counts.
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Michael Yarbro
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:30 pm |
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Joined: | 10 Feb 2006 |
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Location: | Burbank, CA |
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Eric W.H. Taft
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:33 pm |
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Joined: | 14 Aug 2006 |
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Location: | Die, Marti Tracy, die |
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Michael, I can't tell the reasons for your sadness. Are you disappointed that Hank Pym does not beat his wife, or that I suggested Janet stop changing outfits?
All I'm saying is, there is no good reason to talk to ants.
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Bolgani Gogo
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:36 pm |
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Joined: | 11 Aug 2004 |
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Location: | Fredericton, New Brunswick |
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Wasp also is incredibly wealthy and looks exactly like Hank's dead wife - except she's much younger. He kinda scored there.
The shrinking was developed so food and troops could be transported cheaper (sending a couple hundred thousand troops in one plane, then enlarge them when they land). The original serum worked on inanimate objects like chairs, too.
Last edited by Bolgani Gogo on Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Pip
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:36 pm |
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Joined: | 16 Aug 2004 |
Posts: | 2921 |
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IIRC in the classic FF "Thing vs Hulk" story it's actually Ant Man and Wasp who immobilize the Hulk enough to allow Rick (the other guy you've been beating up on) to feed him the pill that beats him. Not too bad for useless heroes.
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Tommy Tomorrow
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:37 pm |
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Emperor of Earth 65
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Joined: | 13 Jun 2006 |
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Wasp beat the Hulk in FF # 26, after Hulk kicked ass on both the FF and the Avengers.
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Michael Yarbro
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:40 pm |
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Joined: | 10 Feb 2006 |
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Location: | Burbank, CA |
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The Pym's are my two favorite marvel characters.
I don't like bad things being written about them. Even if they are true.
_________________ I'm not that smart.
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Eric W.H. Taft
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:43 pm |
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Joined: | 14 Aug 2006 |
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Location: | Die, Marti Tracy, die |
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Pip wrote: IIRC in the classic FF "Thing vs Hulk" story it's actually Ant Man and Wasp who immobilize the Hulk enough to allow Rick (the other guy you've been beating up on) to feed him the pill that beats him. Not too bad for useless heroes.
This would never happen in real life.
In real life, the Hulk would blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
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Eric W.H. Taft
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:46 pm |
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Michael Yarbro wrote: The Pym's are my two favorite marvel characters.
I don't like bad things being written about them. Even if they are true.
Hey, I like Hank. When he's big. It's the small Hank I'm talking about here. The big Hank? He's a good fella.
Janet's a nice gal, but she shouldn't have let Bendis kill Haweye.
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Michael Yarbro
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:49 pm |
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Joined: | 10 Feb 2006 |
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Eric W.H. Taft wrote: Michael Yarbro wrote: The Pym's are my two favorite marvel characters.
I don't like bad things being written about them. Even if they are true. Hey, I like Hank. When he's big. It's the small Hank I'm talking about here. The big Hank? He's a good fella. Janet's a nice gal, but she shouldn't have let Bendis kill Haweye.
In the Marvel Adventure Universe (what is that ? Earth-low-IQ?) Janet is Giant Woman or is it Girl?
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Joe Mayer
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 12:57 pm |
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Eric W.H. Taft wrote: Pip wrote: IIRC in the classic FF "Thing vs Hulk" story it's actually Ant Man and Wasp who immobilize the Hulk enough to allow Rick (the other guy you've been beating up on) to feed him the pill that beats him. Not too bad for useless heroes. This would never happen in real life. In real life, the Hulk would blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I am totally stealing that Eric. That is my favorite response EVER.
_________________ Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
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Bobson Dugnutt
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 1:00 pm |
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MLVGB Champion, '92-'94
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Michael Yarbro wrote: The Pym's are my two favorite marvel characters.
I don't like bad things being written about them. Even if they are true.
Not my favorites, but pretty high up there. They should have been the Nick and Nora Charles of the Marvel Universe.
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Eric W.H. Taft
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 1:04 pm |
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Location: | Die, Marti Tracy, die |
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Boy, I really stepped into it with this thread, didn't I? Who knew there was so much Pym Love?
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Fraxon!
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 1:06 pm |
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Joined: | 22 Aug 2004 |
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Michael Yarbro wrote: In the Marvel Adventure Universe (what is that ? Earth-low-IQ?) Janet is Giant Woman or is it Girl?
I don't think that's Jan. I'm pretty sure that's Cassie Lang, daughter of Ant-Man II.
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Linda
IMWAN Admin |
Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 1:24 pm |
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Helpful Librarian
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I loved the Wasp. Loved her outfits, loved her "shop 'til you drop" attitude. Loved the way Hank called her "Little One". Kinda liked Scott Lang as Ant-Man, especially when Geoff Johns wrote him. And I think Cassie is very cool as Stature or Giant-Girl or whatever she's called this week.
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Michael Yarbro
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 1:35 pm |
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Fraxon! wrote: Michael Yarbro wrote: In the Marvel Adventure Universe (what is that ? Earth-low-IQ?) Janet is Giant Woman or is it Girl? I don't think that's Jan. I'm pretty sure that's Cassie Lang, daughter of Ant-Man II. It's Jan. At least that's what the writer said in early interviews. I have the digest but I don't recall her name being mentioned.
Last edited by Michael Yarbro on Mon Nov 06, 2006 1:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Ian Sokoliwski
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 1:36 pm |
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King of Goth
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Hank
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 1:49 pm |
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Good Stuff, Maynard!
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Eric W.H. Taft wrote: Hey, I like Hank. When he's big. It's the small Hank I'm talking about here. The big Hank? He's a good fella. Great. Say this AFTER I lost all that weight.
_________________ I'm the WAN, natural WAN, make it easy...
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Linda
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 2:26 pm |
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Andrew Farago
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Post subject: Ant-Man and the Wasp, the two most useless heroes ever Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:30 pm |
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Ant-Man and the Wasp had to work a lot harder at being viable superheroes than guys like Thor, Iron Man and Hulk, and I really respect that. If you can prove your worth to Earth's Mightiest Heroes when the skills you bring to the table are the ability to talk to bugs, retain the strength of a normal adult even when you're 1/10 of an inch high, that's really saying something. And it's always good to have an irresponsible scientist and his ditzy socialite girlfriend on the team, too, since it'll keep everyone busy whether you've got supervillains attacking you or not.
I like Hawkeye for similar reasons. He's got a bad attitude, doesn't like to take orders from anyone, he has the proportionate strength of a normal man, and he's most useful in combat if the bad guys are keeping pretty far out of arm's reach. And he used to be 25% of the entire team.
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