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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 12:48 am 
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Ancient Alien Theorist

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If you could remake one of these movies, which one would you remake?

I'd love it if OHMSS could have come first, then we could have Sean Connery in You Only Live Twice afterwards-- done the way Ian Fleming did it.


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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:01 am 
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I'd remake The Man with the Golden Gun, and include a CGI midget based on digital scans of Jack Black's entire body. :lol:

I'd cast Tim Curry as Scaramanga, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman as his Island headquarters. Jenna Jameson would get the Brit Ekland role, and Rowan Atkinson would have a brief cameo, playing the part of Sherrif Pepper from Live and Let Die.

Of course, Chuck Norris would direct.


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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 9:45 am 
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How does

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Simon wrote:
I'd remake The Man with the Golden Gun, and include a CGI midget based on digital scans of Jack Black's entire body. :lol:

I'd cast Tim Curry as Scaramanga, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman as his Island headquarters. Jenna Jameson would get the Brit Ekland role, and Rowan Atkinson would have a brief cameo, playing the part of Sherrif Pepper from Live and Let Die.

Of course, Chuck Norris would direct.

:o

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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:15 pm 
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Every Bond film is a remake, if you think about it...

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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:27 pm 
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Bigger and Better!

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Live and Let Die, with Brooke Shields as Bond, and 007 would be a lesbian.


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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:28 pm 
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Behold

Joined: 31 Jul 2007
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Die Another Day. Bond deserves a better 20th film.


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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:42 pm 
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MOONRAKER, I guess. The movie was awful, and a more faithful adaptation of the book might be nice to see.

On the other hand, Hanzo has a point about ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE and YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE. I'd remake YOLT and set it right after OHMSS. It's always kind of jarring for new fans to watch OHMSS and wonder why Blofeld doesn't recognize Bond! (Then again, a remake might only confuse things more.)

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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 1:32 pm 
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Good Stuff, Maynard!

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They should remake Goldfinger, with Christopher Walken in the title role, except instead of gold, it would be about technology. Bond would sleep with Oddjob.

Oh, wait, they already did that.

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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 1:43 pm 
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Good Stuff, Maynard!

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They should remake Goldfinger, with Kevin Spacey in the title role, except instead of gold, it would be about land. Bond would have superpowers that he doesn't use except to spy on the mother of his bastard son.

Oh, wait, they already did that.

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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 1:51 pm 
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I would remake Thunderball. I'd bring Sean Connery back to play Bond, cast somebody like Max Von Sydow as Blofeld, some German actor unknown to American audiences as Largo, maybe cast a Kim Bassinger-type as the girl, perhaps Rowan Atikinson for comic relief.


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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 1:53 pm 
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Bigger and Better!

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A View to a Kill, but with Muppets.


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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 4:13 pm 
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I'd remake 'You Only Live Twice', but would replace the far fetched plot about American and Russian spacecraft getting stolen by a spacecraft eating spacrcraft in an attempt to start World War III with something a lot more feasible like American and Russian Nuclear Submarines getting stolen by a Nuclear Submarine eating SuperTanker in an attempt to start World War III.


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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 4:19 pm 
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I would remake Goldfinger but make it about an oil heiress destroying a prominent Russian oil pipeline so her oil will be worth more.


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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 4:39 pm 
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Bigger and Better!

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The Man with the Golden Gun, only everyone is a midget except for Nicknack.


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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 12:39 am 
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Good Stuff, Maynard!

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I would remake Goldfinger, but make it about a media mogul trying to wipe out his competition so he can make his own media holdings more valuable.

Jewish-American magician/comedian Ricky Jay would play Oddjob.

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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 12:53 am 
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Paulie Walnuts wrote:
I would remake Goldfinger but make it about an oil heiress destroying a prominent Russian oil pipeline so her oil will be worth more.


Hank wrote:
I would remake Goldfinger, but make it about a media mogul trying to wipe out his competition so he can make his own media holdings more valuable.

Jewish-American magician/comedian Ricky Jay would play Oddjob.


Well, Hell, if you're gonna go that route-

Why not do a "combined remake" of FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (in which Bond encounters a woman seeking veagence) and LICENSE TO KILL (in which Bond himself goes on a vendetta). Like the latter film, it can be darker and more violent. Hey, we can even throw in yet another millionaire villain and another secret world-threatening organization!

Really, there are only a few Bond plots, anyway. Even Fleming recycled (Read DR. NO and then read YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, and tell me that it's not the same story!).

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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 10:08 am 
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RobertSwanderson wrote:
The Man with the Golden Gun, only everyone is a midget except for Nicknack.

:ohyes:


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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 5:48 pm 
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In my ideal world, Connery would have done Dr. No thru You Only Live Twice (with OHMSS switched to be in the correct chronological order so that YOLT could be faithful to the novel), then Diamonds are Forever thru For Your Eyes Only done by Lazenby, Octopussy through Licence to Kill done by Timothy Dalton, Goldeneye thru Die Another Day with George Clooney and then Daniel Craig on the current films.

Of course, all films that suck will be made to be excellent.


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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 7:45 pm 
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George Clooney?! :barf:


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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 9:52 pm 
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Pure Evil Gold!!

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Kevin wrote:
George Clooney?! :barf:


George Lazenby is a better actor.

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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 9:54 pm 
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I always wished OCTOPUSSY was about 8 hot female assassins that hunt down Bond.


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 Post subject: Remake ONE Bond Film...
PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 9:56 pm 
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Pure Evil Gold!!

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Dave Toxik wrote:
I always wished OCTOPUSSY was about 8 hot female assassins that hunt down Bond.


At the time that was released, I couldn't believe they were going to release it with that title. Still can't.

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