Look, Megatron was a huge 40-foot robot who must have weighed about 95 tons and who could blast skyscrapers to dust with that giant canon on his wrist. Then he transformers into a HANDGUN. Physics has laws and I'm sure this is in violation of several of them. While I'm sure we could recruit one of Those Comic Book Writers to tell us about the pocket universe his pass shifts to or something, you and I know that's a load of crap. Fact is, Megatron is not a realistic alien robot who transforms into consumer products.

Also there is no way Soundwave had room for all those tape guys inside of him. he had, what, a panther and two birds and two little guys and probably some other stuff you only saw once, like that cassette that turned into a muskrat or whatever. Well, they can't all fit inside him. Plus, he turns real small, too. Weak.

Also, I doubt Optimus Prime and the other automots could pass an emissions test. They were probably blowing out all sorts of smog. Why didn't they get pulled over for not having am inspection sticker?

If you tell me they had fake stickers, I can never look at them the same again. Having fake inspection stickers is illegal. These are suppossed to be HEROES. Remember HEROES?

This is why children's toys are in the gutter.

Transformers: Not The Big Barrel of Fun You Remember

Megatron used Pym particles to shrink himself down. Duh!

Same way with Soundwave and his menagerie of cassettes.

The Transformers didn't get pulled aside any more after the first cop or two who made that mistake....

And I was in my late teens when I saw the show. I watched it because I liked animation--ANY animation, just about--and because it was so silly it was usually pretty funny.

So there!

DL is one of Those Comic Book Writers.

Why did their human friends wear their construction outfits 24 hours a day? Those yellow books were awful, but it was the hard hats that threw me. You know, if I wasn't at the job site I think I'd take my hard hat off.

Taft's post is both great and full of yummy cream filling.

Go Taft!

The "hard hats," as you call the Witwickys' cranial implants, were an obvious shout-out to the permanent slave caps fused to the skulls of mankind in John Christopher's Tripods trilogy, which of course was also about large alien machines wreaking havoc upon Earth, hence the clever reference. Try again, micro-brain!

HAR!!

(Bonus points for the Tripods reference!)

Transformers was in fact better than I remembered.

Except for the Insecticons. Rad toys, lame cartoon villains.

The dinobots, on the other hand, are rad no matter which form they take.

Me Swoop see nothing.

There was nothing better than experiencing the shock, yes shock, of seeing the original Transformers movies where the shit "stopped being polite and got REAL." Megatron traitorously thrown out into space to meet his demise. Check. Optimus killed. Check. Swearing. Check. An Insecticon gets its head crushed. Check.

Transformers are mechanicall silly, yes.

In general, Japan's love for giant robots is silly (from a mechanical standpoint). And yet they keep chugging these things out.

Transformers cursing broke my brain.

I saw the Transformers movie in the theater. I had to sit on steps in the isle because the place was packed.

I thought they just wore hard hats because it was a good idea, what with all the debris flying around whenever Transformers encountered each other.

I just watched it on video a couple of years later. The early scenes were pretty shocking. After fifteen years the Deceptacons had learned how to SHOOT! Those poor Autobots never stood a chance after that.

I remember my dad making a joke about Orson Welles being appropriate for the role of an enormous planet.

To think that that voice-over, of all things, was his last role ever.

A reviewer described the movie as "a battle in outer space between Mr. Spock, Charles Foster Kane, and a brat-packer.

And don't forget the Transformers: The Movie soundtrack, which primed a nation of 13-year-olds to embrace the wave of cheesy guitar metal that would be closing out the '80s and kicking off the '90s.

That said... the Unicron instrumental theme? Fucking brilliant. Chunga-chungk-chungk-chunga-TSHHHHH! Chunga-chungk-chungk-chunga-TSHHHHH!

I took a girl to see a Karate Kid movie. I was sixteen. Afterwards I told her I wanted to sneak into Transformers: The Movie. She agreed. And it inexplicably worked to my advantage. I got to feel her up. True story.

There's no way on earth some girl who looks exactly like Megan Fox
would hang out with that kid. More likely, she'd run off to Hollywood,
get some sort of movie deal and end up on the covers to Maxim...

Then again, I'm forgetting that by that same logic, the "kid"
she was hanging out with is now---whether we like it or not---a
major friggin' Hollywood star, so maybe the plot IS plausible.