...but no one ever retires to the North.

the fact that it is the favored spot of old, bitter, cranky, hygenically challenged people to go to die is a positive?

It's warmer in the southern U.S. Old people don't like the cold. It ain't rocket science.

(The grits might be an added draw, though. Easy to masticate.)

Mmmmm. Grits.

Girls are sweeter in the south.

Mmmmm. Girls.

I predict a cat fight between Valkyrie and Victoria.

Mmmmm. Cat fight.

The nights are beautiful in the South. Except for the mosquitoes.

I love the South. The best place in the world.

... but it's fucking hot.

If this whole global warming thing keeps up, I'm sure lots of people will retire north to get away from dying in the summer.

That's cuz we like to send you our rejects!

Hot. Humid. Cockroaches the size of pickup trucks. Mosquitos the size of jetliners. And humid. Very humid.

When I moved up to Rhode Island from Louisiana there were two things everyone kept saying to me that always made me laugh.

1) that Rhode Island is incredibly corrupt. Yeah, I'm from a state where a Klanman and a frequently indicted (now in prison) man were in the run-off for governor. I think Louisiana is capable of giving any state in the union a running in the corruption game. Huey P. Long is one of the most infamous corrupt politicians in U.S. history and has inspired a lot of movies. His stripper-loving brother was even played by Paul Newman.

2) the high humidity is so awful in Rhode Island. I'm from a state where I never heard the phrase "it's not the heat, it's the humidity", because that was like commenting on water being wet. It was always humid, even in the winter. There's usually about a week's worth of uncomfortably hot weather up here, as opposed to about two months of comfortable weather down in Louisiana.

I really, really, reeeeeaaalllleeeeey hate hot and humid.

I know Minnesota isn't for everyone with it's two seasons: Winter and Road Construction,
but I enjoy it. Maybe this year I'll wear a coat. It almost never happens that I do. Normally,
I'll wear a hooded sweat shirt from November to March. If it gets really bad, I'll layer an
undershirt under a long-sleeved shirt, with the sweatshirt.

Freezing and humid isn't much better.

At LSU, I met plenty of people from up north and when things got down in the teens (maybe about a week's worth), they were suffering.

And heaven help you if it decided to rain. There's something particularly awful about it being that cold and pouring rain.

I go outside as little as possible, though, during July and August. Too frickin' hot.

And I really like being able to buy long-sleeve shirts. There wasn't a point of them in Louisiana. You got maybe a week or two where you want to wear them, which you stretch out to a few months just to get a bit of value out of the shirts.

Now I get actual seasons. It's freakin' amazing.

Haven't gotten really bad cold weather yet. Nothing I haven't experienced before, although not so prolonged. Plus, there's snow, which is tons of fun. Ice sucks. First time I encountered ice, I went over backward and gave my head a good knock.

My main complaint about Minnesota is that I have to drive about 500 miles a week for my job.
That means some white knuckle drives. Winter around here really likes to swing above and
below 32 degrees. Roads can get quite icy.

I'll sell tickets!