I knew this would happen if Miller wrote this book.

Possible Spoliers





























Bruce calling Dick a brat, grabbing him and telling him he just joined the war

Vikki Vale a total skank

I could go on but won't

After reading various opinions, I was able to flip through it yesterday. It didn't grab me. I thought three pages of Vicki Vlae in her underwear was a bit much. And the closeup of her bent-over ass...jeez...

Dick using a flying hook on a rope while he's just an acrobat- I guess that's why Bruce has been watching him for awhile. Bleh. And the parent's getting shot- double bleh.

I wasn't thrilled either. A friend of mine said its Dark Knighting the entirety of Batman at DC. I don't necessarily agree, as Dark knight began with an interesting characterization of Batman, and became a little odd, and the "odd" was what was captured and used by everyone, seemingly, after that. There are people, of course who still write Batman, world's greatest detective, but a pile of peeps who just incorporate the most extreme elements of Dark Knight.
I mean, isn't "Batman" extreme enough? He runs around in a supah-hero oufit scaring the bejesus outta the bad guys at the risks none of us would take, over and over, while using a MASSIVE personal fortune to finance a one-man crusade against crime. I can find enough interest in that; he doesn't have to be a psychotic dickhead on top of it.

I was not impressed with this issue whatsoever. Won't be back for #2.

If All-Star was supposed to be Ultimate, the way it's playing out is more like Heroes Reborn.

Linda, you know what? As per usual, you're absolutely correct. BARTBW does strike me that way.

I reread it last night and just find it really cold, slick, empty, decompressed and gratuitous in all aspects. Dislike the "brat" reference (and "soldier" too -- though I understand this ties directly to DKR); despise the unnecessary T & A Vicki Vale stuff, dislike the depiction of the Graysons' murder; dislike the over-the-top/implausable crooked cops stuff (dirty is okay, but to club a woman reporter across the face in public and plan to kill a kid who acknowledges his parents' murder that was witnessed by 100's of people?!?); and really dislike that Bats killed the cops (missed that the first time, but realized that he drove right through them!).

All that said... I thought Jim Lee's Fantastic Four from Heroes Reborn was okay.

To be fair, that didn't happen. It read like it was Bruce saying that, but it's one of the corrupt cops sayin' it. I had to *ugh* re-read the page to see that it wasn't Bruce.

Frank... really? Interesting, I completely missed that... twice!!! I'll have to check it out tonight.

Godspeed, Rob.

Stories about radioactive gorillas from space ... it's a lost art ...

Apparently you missed Mr. Lundeen's opus?

All-Star Monkey by Rick Lundeen. I'd pay real money for that.

IIRC Bruce calls Dick a brat in an internal narration caption earlier.

Thass the one I'm talking about. At first I thought it was Bruce, but when I *ugh* re-read the page, it occured to me that it's a lead-in to the next page where the cops are talking about the Graysons.

I think.

*sigh* now I'm gonna hafta go back and read it AGAIN!

It was one of this thought balloons.

Comics should not be so much work.

In honor of the movie opening this weekend:

Who do you blame when your kid is a brat
Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat?
Blaming the kids is a lion of shame
You know exactly who's to blame:
The mother and the father!

The Charlton Action Heroes I Felt LIke Writing About In...
Radioactive Gorilla From Space!

"Vic, Magda, we're going to have to wrap this up and go to Bill, with more on the mysterious green gorilla that just appeared in the center of town. Bill"

The floor manager held his hands up. "And clear. Sorry we had to cut you short, guys, but radioactive green gorillas trump political debate."

Magda Blaisdell took the lavalier mic off her blouse. "They should just leave the poor thing alone."

Vic Sage fingered the spray capsule in his coat pocket. "He's destroying things and he's radioactive; it would be the height of irresponsibility to leave him alone."

Magda huffed. "Well, they don't have to kill him."

Vic walked off the set to the street. "Did anyone say to kill him? You should thank whatever you worship that you live in a country that lets you live as cluelessly as you do," he said over his shoulder, shutting the studio door.

Vic quickly affixed the mask to his face and fired off the spray to become the question. "Let's see what I can do with a radioactive gorilla from space."

"Not by yourself, pal." Dangling from a line from the Bug was the Blue Beetle. "With radioactivity in the mix, I think a little technology might be in order. Come aboard."

--§--

The Bug hovered over the gorilla.

"We have his attention, Blue. Now what?"

"I send him a cable." The Bug fired down a metallic tentacle that encircled the beast and locked. The mighty ape grabbed the cable and began pulling it to him.

"Ah ah ah!" Blue Beetle waggled a finger, then had the Bug fire a photo flash at the ape.

"He's disoriented."

"Now he gets some slippers."

The Bug squirted frictionless foam onto the roadway. Beetle piloted the Bug, dragging the ape along the foam.

"So far, so good, but the question is where do I take him?"

"The quarry. Twenty five miles north of town. I'll put in a course for you." The Question clacked the keyboard.

--§--

As they approached the quarry, Beetle heard and alarm sound.

"What's that, Blue?"

"Heat warning. But-- Oh, crap."

The ape was heating the towing tentacle with radiation.

"He's going to melt the tether, Face. Now what do we do?"

"Put me on speed dial!" Captain Atom zoomed past the bug down to the creature below. "The Air Force has a missile ready to send him back into space. And his radiation means nothing to me." Captain Atom severed the cable and grabbed the end with the gorilla. "You're joining the US Space Program." Captain Atom flew off with the ape toward the air base.

"It's a shame he's going to kill him, Face."

"He's not. He's returning him to space."

"But not to whatever ship he came from."

"Do you have an idea as to how he could do that?"

"Point."

Actually, it's a thought box!

Never mind. It was Bruce. Yet another reason to avoid the book.

Yeah, it was Bruce. Right after Dick "saves himself" with his grappling hook as part of the act; he thinks "Yeah; this brat is something." That line doesn't really bother me because it seems facetious. It's in character for a young Batman in his mid-20s, and doesn't really imply malice, at least IMO.

The gratuitous T&A with Vicki was unnecessary, and the brutality of the cops was overdone and melodramatic. How about a little subtlety, Frank and Jim? He could have just shoved her down to the ground. Also, Vicki gets whacked in the face with a nightstick and she still looks gorgeous except for a little trickle of blood from her lip that's gone on the next page? Please.

Having the Graysons get shot was also unnecessary. What was wrong with having it look like an accident, as it's always been shown before? And using the Batmobile to shear the police car in half? (I'm sure we'll see that the cops miraculously survived next issue, though.) Again, about as subtle as a sledgehammer, Miller.

Overall, I was quite disappointed. DC had a great opportunity here, and they've wasted it.

Why would they care? As long as the thing $ell$, right?