This one is technically second-hand, but it’s still a True Story™.

My parents made Best Friends Forever with Bob and Sue, a married couple about their age(s), circa 1976. Even though my folks migrated from Illinois to Florida in 1995, they still do their best to meet up with Bob and Sue for shared vacations at least once a year, usually in Tennessee, the approximate halfway point, in an area where Bob can launch his precious boat and host the now-expected vacations. The four of them rent a cabin deep in the woods and spend a week or so in almost total isolation every year…drinking, goofing off, fishing, drinking, singing karaoke, drinking, playing cards, and drinking aboard Bob’s boat.

One of these vacations took place during late August/early September 1997. The British and female among you might recall that Princess Diana died on 31 August 1997. My parents and their friends, having lived on a boat and/or in a cabin with no TV for a few days, and having been cut off from all news outlets and civilization in general, knew nothing of this fact.

A day or two after Diana’s death, this motley crew contemplated taking the boat on a fairly long voyage down the river, but they didn’t like the look of the sky. My father volunteered to go into the cabin and try to squeeze a weather report out of the small transistor radio that lay within, and made the quick jog from the dock to the cabin. Instead of the weather, of course, most newscasters on the AM band were discussing the princess’ death – how it had happened, and who was to blame. My father sat and listened, in a mild state of shock, for several minutes.

When he returned to the dock, my mother and Bob and Sue, mildly inebriated and stricken with a case of the giggles, asked him what had taken him so long.

“Princess Diana is dead,” he said. He had to repeat himself when faced with a round or two of responses like “Yeah, right” and “Get the fuck outta here” (that would be my mother)…but eventually, everyone processed the fact that he was telling the truth. The giggling stopped. There was a long silence.

“What happened?” my mother asked. “Who did it?”

My father shrugged. “Right now, it sounds like they’re blaming the paparazzi.”

Bob scoffed. “That’s so stupid,” he said. “Why would a big fat opera singer want to kill the princess?”

Awesome!

I didn't know whether to read the story with Deliverance dueling banjo music in the background, or 70's porn theme,Bow Chicka Bow Bow.

I was wondering when we'd get another story, Frank. Keep 'em coming.

I'm just gettin' started, Your Holiness.

Beautiful. Please write some more.

Hah! That's good stuff.

Great ending. Nice job, Frank.

Funny. And well told.

I don't get it, why did they blame the fat opera guy?

Excellent. Please make that sooner rather than later.

I love it!
Notwithstanding the appalling generalisation vis a vis the gender of Princess DI fans - she was the Queen of all the people's hearts IIRC
(vomit)

Not a fan of Sir Elton's little ditty about the People's Princess, then?

"Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!"

Or Eduardo Paolozzi !

I'd like to call special attention to these two paragraphs.

Look!

These are excellent paragraphs. The highlighted line especially, I like.

Well done.

To add my personal connection to this story, my birthday is August 31st. I remember coming home after drunken shenanigans to the news of Diana's death.

Oh, and my father married the most evil woman alive on August 31st 1993. The marriage lasted a year.

My birthday is a big day for so many reasons.

But I digress - Frank, keep them coming!

You must be a pretty interesting guy to be around, Frank. I bet these stories just pop right out of you in person!

An awfully nice thing to say, D.L.

And yeah, this particular story gets a lot of laughs when I work in my impressions of my parents' THICK New York accents into the telling.

Hey, this is kind of a funny story.

bump, for our new member G.B. Venom, who has heard this story more than once.

bump, because I just told this story again to someone.

Nice going, Frank! With all your bumps you just bumped my brand-new story halfway down the page!