My son was something of a lazy writer in high school. One of his teachers told us (and him, numerous times) that he didn't write enough. This teacher told us, "If I ask him about a question that's on the test, he'll give me a five-minute explanation that's outstanding - detailed, insightful - but then on the test, the same question gets a two-sentence answer." It carried over into virtually all of his subjects, and at home as well. Pete met him earlier this year and can tell you how much he can go on - at one point, I left to hit the men's room, and came back to find my son carrying the conversation.

On Friday, my father-in-law died. He'd had numerous health issues over the last few years, but this time it was something he couldn't overcome. It was something that came on suddenly Wendesday, and he was admitted to the hospital that day, and overnight he became unresponsive. The surgeon suspected that there was a section of his intestines that was dead, so they did surgery and found what they expected. After the surgery, his color was much better, but the next morning his organs started to fail and he didn't last long after that.

Both of my kids took it kind of hard, my daughter somewhat outwardly, but my son being very quiet through the day, although my wife did notice him crying a couple times. And when I gave him a hug and asked him how he was, he just kind of sank into it in a way he normally doesn't. At some point, my wife told both kids they could post to Facebook about it to let their friends and some other people know. Some time later, she asked if they'd heard from anybody, and after my daughter went through some of them, my son said he hadn't posted yet because he wanted to think about what he wanted to say.

This is what he posted:



Man. It's still tough to read. Tonight was the first time my wife could even mention it without crying again. She said my brother-in-law saw it first and told his wife and our mother-in-law, "You guys need to see this, but I have to warn you, it's not going to be easy to read." None of the three women can read it without crying again.

It took me until college to realize I had a bit of a touch for being able to write, and it looks like he's following the same path.

Condolences.

My condolences as well, Alan.

My condolences for your loss. Hits home a bit because that chair is exactly like my own departed grandfather's, and like your father in-law, it was the first thing you saw when you walked in, and he was invariably in it, watching TV or whatever. He held court in it on Christmas Eve and at all family gatherings. The chair, until recently, still existed in our family, at my mother's house. Walking in, I always got that same feeling of sadness. You really don't know what you have with family until you don't have it anymore.

Sorry for your loss Alan, you have great kids!

What a beautiful and moving remembrance. My condolences on your family's loss.

My condolences. That was a moving post.

My condolences, Alan.

Thanks for sharing with us Alan. You are rightly proud.

My condolences as well Alan. I have my mothers chair now sitting in my house. I still can imagine here being there. Spiritually wise she might just be. Give your son a hug from all of us.

Rick A.

My condolences, Alan. Extremely evocative post by your son. You are rightly proud.

So sorry Alan.

Meeting your son was great-he and I talked like we knew each other for years and he is truly a hockey nut (wonder how that happened?).

You and your family are in my thoughts.

Very touching. You have a wonderful family.

That's beautiful. Alan. I'm sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your loss.

Wonderful, well-written, and moving post by your son.

So sorry about your loss, Alan. Our thoughts and prayers go out to your family, particularly your wife.

Thanks for sharing your son's post, which was quite moving and profound.

A great piece of writing--very moving tribute. Thank you for sharing.

That's a lovely remembrance by your son! My sympathies to you and your family.

That's very touching, Alan. My condolences to you and your family.

Thanks everybody. With the visitation tom'w, I'm hoping I can get him to pay attention to the effect his words will have on some of the people there. I want him to realize that something he did can have that kind of effect on people.

Me, I'll probably be trying to keep some of the mood light. While we were eating one of the last couple days, my mother-in-law said, "Well, I'm glad he went peacefully." And I couldn't help myself - I instantly said, "Yeah - not screaming like his passengers." I thought my sister-in-law and brother-in-law were going to spit their food over the table.

And overall we've been pretty lucky. My kids had all four grandparents for over 20 years of their lives. Neither my wife nor I had that for a single day. Both of our paternal grandfathers died before our parents were married.

I found out yesterday that my uncle died (my dad's brother-in-law). My dad is one of six kids. This uncle is the fourth spouse of the six kids to die. Only one of the six, the oldest, has died. At his funeral, my aunt said, "Do you realize how lucky we are? The youngest of us was 73 when the first of us died. How many families get to say that?" Especially when their dad was in his 40s when he died (I think).

Sincere condolences, Alan.

My best to your family.

Wonderful tribute.My condolences to you and your family