To the Head Chef and House of IMWANkers:

The days of the last year have fallen away, marks on the calendar. Tomorrow beckons. And I say to you this evening that tomorrow shall be a WAN day.

Today we bring forth a more WANly WANion, bonds forged in friendship and irrelevancy. Yet our work is not done here. In the coming year we look forward to ensuring WANliness is brought to all free people on the Internet; all those oppressed and repressed and depressed and bench pressed. Such is our mission in 2007, called privately, and now publicly, the year of the WAN. For what is WAN but a state of mind? A peaceful state through which differences are set aside, and for a time the bonds of fellowship are the unbreakable ties that form our common ground? And so I say to you, my fellow IMWANkers, that 2007 shall be the Year of the WAN.

From our past can we learn the lessons that shell better our future. In 2006, IMWAN continued on its WANly course, a veering, twisting path through which magnificent sights were seen and countless riders were tossed from the wagon like so much baggage. And yet did the wagon ride on, leaving the baggage behind like forgotten trifles? It did not, for the way of WAN is to stop, to stoop, to pick up our fellow riders, hoist them upon our shoulders and walk forth holding our larger burden with a smile upon our face.

He ain’t heavy, he’s an IMWANker.

Broad are our shoulders; and so their breadth extents to foreign relations. Much like the social and cultural attitudes fostered at IMWAN, our borders remain open, free for passage in and out. Thus do we welcome new citizens, quiet and loud, relevant and less so, and if these new citizens speak against us, our cheeks shall be turned … for we are WAN. Anger without need does not cross into our domain. Would that we banned without need. And yet we do! But our bannings are bannings of love, wielded by a Judge both firm and just, and in your banning you will know IMWAN’s embrace.

If in 2006 our population has increased, I say to you, my fellow IMWANkers, that the prior 12 months were but a precursor for days to come, days when the WAN shall supplant the unWAN, when fish and women are met not with befuddlement but with open arms, and when every sense of humor is cultivated carefully, with the zany antics each deserves. Such is the goal we set for ourselves. To become not more relevant, but less. Not more important, but less. And yet not less fun, but MORE.

I now proclaim to you, my fellow IMWANkers, a new day. A day of looking forward rather than backward. Of hands joined together. Of smiles and laughed replacing bitterness and scorn. If yesterday you hated, today … love. If yesterday you sulked, today … laugh. If yesterday you saw only the negative and dark and down, today … see that there is another way.

Such is IMWAN. Such are we all.

Thank you, and good night.

Wasn't yesterday WAN's Day?

My response:

Whatever.

That was unnecessary.

Same as every other State of the Union. Long, boring, and filled with info we already know.

Thankfully, no applause to delay things

Think of that as the "Democratic Response".

Or the Republican Response, if you're so inclined.

Oh, hell...consider it the Green Party Response.

Don't listen to the nattering nabobs of negativity, Taft. I thought it was stirring.

Wow, Mr President, you're just so ... BIG.

It's the ice cream. Three scoops for breakfast, four before bed.

Actually it was the Wild Drunken Party response. But at least you got it, unlike Mr. Rotundity.

YOU CAN'T LIE TO A PRESIDENT!

But you can lie with one for a small fee.

True that!

That's hot.
.

Must give one helluva sense of power and potency to be the president. You know they get their wife to say stuff like that all the time. or the other girls.

That was absolutely beautiful. Mainly because he mentioned me specifically. But none the less - beautiful.

Gold Star Post.

when do we remind Eric he really isn't Taft, and even if he was, Taft hasn't been President in close to 100 years.

I'm the President.

I respect the fact that the whole 'women and fish' issue was raised in this timely, yet ultimately irrelevant, speech by President Taft. Long may he drink Dark Ale and wax his moustache.

Prezzy-Wezzy

Disrespectful!

Tafty-Wafty! Ericky-Werricky! Howardy-Wowardy!