Two for One Deal
I saw an exhibit of original works by famous children’s illustrators. There were works by the like of Kate Greenaway, Randolph, Chris Van Allsberg, and more. I got to see the originals of several illustrations I’ve actually seen in books before. My favorite was a pen-and-ink drawing by L. L. Brook for Johnny Crow’s Garden. I loved that book when I was little!

Children’s illustrators aren’t usually considered fine artists—and fine artists seldom illustrate children’s books. But the illustrators have one thing over the fine artists. You can enjoy their work the way a child enjoys something when you’re a child. And enjoy them all over again in a different way as an adult.

When Cows Fly
For many years stories have been going around about tornado-trapped cows sailing through the air like giant birds. A writer researching storms asked an expert whether this had ever actually happened. The expert said that he didn’t know of any documented cases of it actually taking place. If it did, he said, it would no doubt be called “the herd shot round the world.”

Thoughts at the Picnic
Recently I went to my first annual Rotary Club picnic. Our chapter has quite a few younger members with young children. I sat at a table with three couples who had them—and two of the mothers were expecting again. I’m pretty sure I was the only person there who has no children or family. They were all talking about children. All I had to talk about was my work at the library.

A lot of them probably don’t know that I tried to get married and have children. They probably think I just decided not to bother with a family, or maybe they think I’m a workaholic. I guess I should just let them go ahead and think that.

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar
The Navy is about to start allowing women on its submarines. They aren’t just doing this to appease a politically-correct society. Today’s nuclear submarines need crews of college graduates in the sciences and engineering. And women now comprise half of those new grads. Not bad considering women aren’t even supposed to be good at math and stuff!

The Head, The Heart, and the Body
At puberty the Body began to have, right on schedule and in a big way, those human reproductive urges. It wanted very much to find and experience its Other Half. The Heart felt the need for her more ethereal Other Half as well. The Head wasn’t so sure, but eventually it agreed to start the search.

At length they found somebody the Head (which had some serious standards) felt passed the test. The Head was pleased with itself, the Heart overflowed with joy, and the Body found out what it had been missing and said “Gimmee some more of that!”

Over time, though, the Head grew worried about how things were going. The Heart found out that she was giving far more than she received. The Body, though disappointed at not actually being able to reproduce despite the constant attempts, was happy to keep on trying.

The Head kept worrying. The Heart was cruelly beaten and battered, but she kept on loving and hoping that the Other Half would someday love her too. Even the Body, who was getting what should have been enough attention to satisfy anybody, got upset when the Other Half became sick and couldn’t give even more.

Then the Other Half left and refused to come back. The Head was actually relieved that it was all over. The Heart was crushed and broken. And the Body—well, the body found it very hard to sleep at night and wouldn’t let anybody else get any sleep either.

The Head still spends much of its time telling the other two that they just need to forget about it and go on with their lives. The Heart sadly agrees—she’d like to try again, but now she’s too afraid. But she can’t stop crying and feeling lonely. And the Body just keeps moronically wanting what it wants.

Deep down the Head really wants to please the Heart and Body. But it knows that Hearts and Bodies (especially Bodies) are liable to make bad decisions if you let them do the thinking. So the Head goes on doing what it knows it must—and hoping it’s right.

On Trust and Faith
When I was a child Dad would occasionally set me on the gas tank of his motorcycle and we would ride. I was usually scared of loud noises like motorcycle engines. And riding a motorcycle is something even many adults won’t do. But I don’t remember being afraid that something would happen when I rode with Dad. It was DAD. He wouldn’t do something with me that wouldn’t work out.

Years later I had my own bike, and Dad led me up one of the crookedest mountain roads in the country. Some experienced bikers won’t go up there. I was kind of afraid to try. But I followed him, and we got to the top and had a good time doing it. And I was glad I followed him.

Sometimes God leads me to places where I’m afraid to follow. But I’ve been reminding myself that he won’t do something with me that won’t work out. Eventually I’ll be glad I followed him.

Some Ideas for the Mythbusters to Test
Do refrigerator lights really go off when you close the door?

Does a tree falling in the forest make a sound if there’s nobody present to hear it?

Can you fake UFO photos using only materials an amateur could find?

Does WD-40 make a good emergency deodorant (And other WD-40 myths)?

I think I already know the answers to most of these. It would still be fun to see how Jamie and Adam approached them.

Something to Look Forward To
I met an old Navy man who talked about the time he made his first crossing of the Equator. According to tradition the older hands on the vessel let the young guys haze them for a day—but then the next day it would be THEIR turn.

This guy was something of a ringleader among the young guys. Among other things he tried to bomb the senior enlisted man with a water balloon as he came down a ladder. But it slipped out of his hands, tumbled slowly down the steps kind of like a Slinky, and detonated on the deck below. The old shellback saw what happened.

“I’ll see YOU tomorrow!” he said.

On (Not) Having Children
I had this dream. I dreamed of finding someone wonderful that I could set up house with, and go to church with, and do intimate things with. I dreamed of swelling with something wonderful and alive inside, and a birthing, and congratulations from happy friends and family. And beginning a life of caring for a new person and watching him or her grow. And in a couple of years introducing this one to another one…and another one…and still another one.

But it never happened. We tried—oh how we tried! As nearly as the doctors could tell, I was perfectly capable. But it still didn’t happen, and we started to lose hope. And eventually we lost the marriage.

Knowing now what I now do about who I married, I’m glad we did not have children. They would not have had the kind of life a child should have with two loving parents. It was for the best. I guess I’ll never know what it’s really like to have children. You can’t know if you haven’t actually done it.

The biblical prophet Isaiah says: “Sing, o barren, that you did not bear, for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife…neither let the eunuch say, “I am a dry tree”. Even to them will I give in my house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and daughters. I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off.”

That’s my great hope.


Let Her Find Out the Hard Way
A mother I know said that her daughter had been bugging her about getting her hair dyed blond. She didn’t think it was a good idea to let her color her own hair like that. But eventually she gave in. The color turned out kind of orangish. Hopefully some lessons have been learned here….

I Wonder What It's Like?
I’ve been immensely blessed with people who love me—my parents and other family, church family, friends, even some employees. There’s one kind of love I’ve missed, though—the love that comes when someone exchanges vows with you and promises to stay with you and take care of your needs for the rest of your life. I’ve had that kind of love for another. I wonder what it would be like to have someone love me like that?

When You Fall
Today I was coming out of the Rotary Club luncheon and saw an elderly lady on the ground. She had just fallen. Seconds earlier. Three people, including a passerby that I knew, had surrounded her and were offering to help. A moment later another lady approached, bent down, and carefully and gently lifted her. She clearly had experience with lifting people. The woman who fell had only been on the ground for a few moments.

It’s good to live in a town where people are quick to pick you up when you fall.

Counterproductive Nerves
Any time we have a big event coming up at work I get a case of the nerves. I start fidgeting worse than usual, keep sipping water to calm down, and periodically try to get that mass of hair of mine into shape. By the time the event comes my hair usually still doesn’t look any good and I have a full bladder. Not really what’s needed.

He Did It Once Before....
When I got out of college I went into grad school to get a PhD with the intention of teaching college. I tried very hard to know whether this was what God was leading me into, because that’s what I wanted to do as well. I ended up putting six years’ work into a failed degree.

I spent years living hand-to-mouth on a low-paying library job I’d first gotten as a student worker, wondering where I’d gone wrong. Whenever I looked back at my decision to go to grad school, I was still convinced that I had been doing what God wanted. So why did he set me up to fail?

Then over the years I grew into my work at the library, found out I was good at it, and eventually got a job as the head of a small-town library. It was my grad school that got me into the library business. Even much of the stuff I learned while working on that failed degree has turned out useful in my new profession. It’s a wonderful job and I’m so thankful God led me into it.

Years ago I married after trying very hard to determine that it was God’s will. It was an unhappy and abusive marriage that left me divorced, childless, and almost broke. Looking back on my decision I still believe I did what God wanted me to do. I wonder why God set me up to fail. But this time I know that failure isn’t the end of the story with God. Someday, in this life or the next, I’ll find out what God was doing.

Imaginary Friends
Children love imaginary friends. You never know what they’ll come up with. I know of two siblings who had a shared imaginary friend. And a girl who had so many cousins she ended up with an imaginary cousin.

My oldest niece loved dinosaurs. She was probably the only first-grader in her class who knew how to spell “paleontologist”. Her imaginary friends were velociraptors. They were everywhere we went—on the furniture, running across the floor, diving around in the household aquarium. Not sure where she got it from, but it made playing barbies with her interesting!

Then after a while she lost interest in velociraptors. Her new imaginary friend? Bigfoot!

Sleepless Nights
We shared the same bed for almost nine years. Sharing a bed can be awkward, especially with someone who is a lot larger than you are and who occasionally snores very loudly. It can also be awkward when your retiring or rising times get out of sync. Still, it’s well worth the trouble. There’s something wonderful about the closeness and the touching. And the intimacy of lovemaking.

For over two years now I’ve slept alone in that same bed. It’s comfortable enough, and certainly plenty roomy. I don’t have to worry about snoring, or anyone bumping into me or any of that. But it’s lonely. I miss the touching and the closeness.

By day I’m content enough to live without such things. I’ve got plenty to do as it is. I’m better off now, I tell myself. Better to remain as I am than to take such a big risk again. It’s not like there’s much likelihood of having a second chance anyway in my situation.

But at night I can’t stop thinking about it. I usually go to sleep with no trouble. But I often wake up in the night. And I have those thoughts and feel so incomplete and alone. I wonder if it will ever stop?