As for the page, it looks a bit busy/cramped in places, at least at that size. Third panel strikes me as a bit iffy, with the foot. Not sure how to explain myself but I can't help but think these first three panels could have been done more cleanly and economically.
Panels 5 and 8 could stand to show more dynamism, imo; Lionman looks rather diminished. He should really stand out.
Lastly, more of a q than a crit, but what's the deal behind the costume colors? Also, the powers? Are they based on a real lion's or are they mystical?
_________________ These days, it's all secrecy, no privacy... ~ Mick Jagger, "Fingerprint File" Save the Bees
Yes, that last page violates all sorts of Drawing Comics the Marvel Way rules. I suck. And it IS all too small. I'm really considering doing that page again and expanding, move some of that to the next page. It'll just involve more drawing which I'm trying to avoid. As for the first three panels, I'm hoping the colorist can make them work better than they look there.
On powers they're both. He's basically a were-lion. It's a physical change but mystical in nature triggered by the talisman. Sort of like (original) Captain Marvel-meets-the-Black-Panther kinda thing.
As to costume, the appearance is based on Skyler's subconscious and the influence of his ancestors ie: those people who were the Lionman before Skyler. It's based on Zulu norms but translated thru SKyler. I have thought that the costume is not static and may have variations from one appearance to the next. The costume is an afterthought by some part of Skyler's mind as we saw he was naked at first and he clothed himself with a thought, mainly because Skyler thought he should not be naked. That also accounts for the footwear; Skyler, we know, has a clubbed foot, and would never go barefoot. Once he gets over that we may see a barefoot Lionman. But, mystically speaking, he can clothe himself however he wishes. Except for the headband. That is always there, a symbol of his royal descent and which people with really good 20-20 Third Eye vision, will be able to see out of the corner of said Third Eye, on Skyler even when he is his normal self.
Which is another thing: he won't be so foggy and confused the next time he changes. He'll have his full intellect and remember who he is. But this first time it's all too new and a shock., his own memories crowded out by ancestral memories. At this point he doesn't even know what happened or why. But he'll remember all that happens when he changes back. And when he changes to the Lionman again, consciously, he'll know who he is and what's going on. But these things will be dealt with in the second issue, if there is one. Plus, he will have Sir Michael to help him (and us) understand all this.
The opening to the second issue will show a white, blond Lionman running and leaping thru a plain. It will turn out to be a flashback with Sir Michael, who could become the Lionman in the Dream World of their ancestors while he had the talisman himself, the only place and circumstances where he could do so.
Yeah, I really think this is going well but I would definitely feature a more dynamic Lionman and I think the backgrounds are a little busy but color can fix that.
Just expand the 5th panel on the first page. Adding more plants to his right and having him on the far left of the panel would help show he's really moving fast. Put the full traffic scene onto the next page.
That 2nd page rooftop scene was originally him creeping because there were two guys sitting out on a balcony below him. When I switched locations I KNEW there was no reason to have him creeping then but I was trying to squeak by. But he needs to be running now. It makes more sense for him to spend as little time up there as he can.
And yeah, expanding that now 5th panel could work, especially since I wanted the deer crossing sign and the park sign in there.
Comics am hard.
But regardless, changing the original page is the way to go.
I knew it about 2/3rds through it when I was drawing it. I think working in Photoshop and the wacom is influencing this. I can see what I'm doing fine but it's too small. If I were laying this out the old fashioned way, I could more easily tell the sizes everything needs to be.
I'm so close to finishing I want to finish, damn it. And now I'm going to take a break to see if I can write that Hyborian Age story.
But I'm glad y'all reinforced what I already thought and was just going to try to get away with. I needed that.
I'm a huge fan of Manga Studio. Even just for inking alone it's fantastic. The newest version allows for a full 11 x 17 sheet now as well.
It's really good for pencils too.
Yes. Agreed. I don't do a lot of digital pencil stuff, but I've seen folks that have, and the MS stuff is really good. Not to mention that you can go directly from pencil to ink in the same program.
_________________ Aren't you glad you talked about this? Here, on IMWAN?
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot post attachments in this forum
I think working in Photoshop and the wacom is influencing this. I can see what I'm doing fine but it's too small. If I were laying this out the old fashioned way, I could more easily tell the sizes everything needs to be.
