Jay sat watching the game with Mac.
"So how is it going with you and Ari? " Mac asked.
"Not well, I thought we were getting along well but she keeps pushing me away or holding herself back." Jay said. He sighed glumly.
"Why? What happened? I know Ari she is a nice, sweet girl. What did you do, Jay?" Mac was concerned. He knew the both pretty well.
"I don't know how it all spiraled out of control. I guess I got fed up with her putting up excuses and pushing me away. I told her I agreed with Sebastion and I was tired of the run around.
I said I was through with the whole farce." Jay said grimly.
Mac frowned. "I assume you know what Sebastion did to Ari, don't you?"
"Yeah. He got fed up with her too. He left." Jay said.
"That is not what actually happened. Jay, Ari was very hurt by him. Maybe I shouldn't tell you this but I know what he actually said to her when he broke up with her...."
"OK, Tell me then, I told her I agreed with him" Jay was curious
"Uh, I don't think you should have said that , especially to her. What he did was give her the run around, not willing to set the date and then he would pick fights with her. His last one was very bad. He accused her of being an ungrateful slut and belittling his manhood. Then he stormed about things she never did to him, it was very unpleasant....she told him if that was how he truly felt about her she supposed he wanted to end it. He said yes. she asked if he wanted his ring back and if so then that decision would be final. She didn't want to go thru that again.
"I didn't know..."Jay said softly.
"I think you should give her a little space, she will forgive you eventually but I think she needs a little space to forget what you said, " Mac said kindly..."She is special."
"What do you mean "special", Jay looked at Mac suddenly, "What do you know? Please tell me."
"Ari is not a beauty, tho' she is smart and most people who meet her are drawn to her, they can never define why. Have you felt that way about her?" Mac looked at Jay, he scarcely nodded.
"That is because you have to really, truly know her to find her beautiful. Do you know why that is?"
Jay shook his head , "No."
Mac smiled, continuing, "It is because she has to open her heart to people, show them her love, that is what makes her truly beautiful, her heart. She is an empath, it draws people to her. she has an instinct with people, she seems to know when she is needed and is drawn to them, it is truly an amazing thing. I have seen it and was astounded at the response she received."
"What do you mean she is an empath, not like out of star trek or something?" Jay asked, doubtful.
"No, not like out of star trek, she can't heal people. but she can feel strong emotions and seems to know when someone needs to be encouraged or loved, or just noticed. She has been that way since she was very little. Here is an example, when she was a baby barely able to walk she heard her mother being sick, she crawled into her mother's bed and after she got sick, mind you everytime, she would reach out and put her mother's head in her own tiny lap, and she sat there that way all day, til her father got home to take care of her mommy.
Her mother told her when she grew up, that she never left her side. Now I call that amazing.
Sebastion never paid any attention to her until he knew she was imortant to someone else.
He wanted to hurt that guy, so he chose to target Ari. She didn't like him at the beginning but somehow he drew her to him. But he was surprised to later learn how important she had become to him in reality and then it was too late. She had warned him of that but he wouldn't listen. He found out the hard way that her strength becomes tempered when under fire, it makes her far stronger and even more determined to stand her ground. She is aptly named, she protects her own people and that includes anyone she considers "family" . Did she ever say how she felt about you?"
"Yes, twice I think. She said she loved me, then later she added she wasn't in love with me, I didn't understand why she said that." Jay replied.
"That is easy to explain, Jay. When she loves someone it has nothing to do with romantic love.
It is what it is. And too when Sebastion asked her, he asked if she was in love with him. for her the distinction is evident. because if your "in" love you can be out of love and she never will be. Sebastion proved that to her. So she says Love she means she cares and wants nothing to happen to the one's she loves. Love to her means family, friends and being safe.
So it is a positive thing for you if she told you that. Most people don't understand her and want to put her in some category, she can never fit in any category or under any label. She has many sides and each one is very unique. I am glad I have known her."
"Mac, do you think she will ever talk to me again?" Jay asked, hoping for a positive answer.
"Actually, I believe she hasn't spoken yet because she didn't want to say anything she would regret or not be able to take back. When she is ready, she will speak. It is that simple."
Mac smiled and vanished.

Jay startled, woke up suddenly, he had been asleep, "Was that all just a dream?"

there was a soft knock on the door. He got up and went to answer it.
He opened the door, standing there was Ari. She looked a little shy and unsure of herself.
Ari held out her left hand and said quietly "Can we start over?"
He reached out and took her hand then he looked down at her ring.
It was a Claddagh, he looked back up at her eyes, she smiled
"What does this mean, Ari?" Jay asked.
She looked at the ring and said "Oh, that is because there is someone who
has my heart and I want to remember always."
"Oh, I see," Jay said softly.
"Well, maybe you don't actually see, Jay. I have been stupid for most
of my life and it gets to become a habit. That is not good I know. I am sorry I wasn't
willing to be what you wanted me to be. But if we can be friends then, well, I don't know
exactly. I guess things may be more bearable somehow. "
"Oh, Ari, that is not what I think. I just want you to take a leap or take a chance.
Don't shut yourself away. I don't think I could watch you retreat again. Your too
special for that, okay?" Jay said
"Okay." Ari smiled again. " I can only try everyday to be more..."
"More...what?"
"Yesterday is history, Tommorrow is a mystery, But Today is a gift, do you know why?"
"No"
Smile. "Because it is the Present. Like everyday should be. Like you live in the moment."
"Yes, that is a good thing Ari." Jay smiled back.

Glad to see you revisit this.

Thank you, I am surprised how many have even read it

Good to see you revisit us. It's been to long, Audra!

I am sorry I was away so long, it is good to be back.

Ari stood in the shadowy room, she saw him standing in the light surrounded by his friends. Her heart twisted painfully, she felt the weakness in her legs and though frantically, "Don't faint now...." She saw a younger girl standing there, talking animatedly to him. He was so happy, smiling, talking. It hurt her to see it. She couldn't think clearly. She had to turn away and try to collect herself, try to keep from succombing to tears. She was glad for him, but it was a sadness that settled upon her suddenly now. She knew she had friends as well, including him. But in this moment, she was alone and lonely. It was overwhelming in its intensity. She stumbled past him, she didn't think he even saw her, that was for the best.
She found a seat as people ebbed and flowed around her. Ignoring her, she was inconsequential to them. That was fine in this moment. She needed to find a peaceful place within herself. It took a long time, finally, she stopped shaking and trembling, her breathing became more normal, her heart less pained. She looked around and watched people for along moment, they were conversing, visiting and being happy. Ari closed her eyes and felt out for the joy she had seen around her. Breathing deeply she calmed down more, became more centered. Her love rose again and no pain with it. He was happy and she could be happy for him, with him. He knew how she felt regardless, and she knew he still cared about her, being friends mattered more than anything else. It was just a painful moment and now it had passed. She had survived it, she smiled softly, finally feeling a contentment in her knowledge and awareness. He still mattered to her, he would always. Whether he ever knew it or not. THAT didn't matter anymore, really. Only his happiness and her acceptance of it. He was her heart and she would protect it.

A year later......
Standing in the jostling crowd, Ari saw the stranger standing by a bank of windows, also watching the crowd mill around. He was oblivious of her. Tha was fine. She had no feelings regarding this stranger, but yet there was something...
He suddenly looked up and saw her looking at him. He had a puzzled look on his face. She suddenly smiled, a very happy ad sudden smile. This was the kind of smile she knew was from deep inside. She didn't know why.
He had a puzzled look, then he looked around and behind him. Then he looked back at her and realized the smile was for him.
He smiled a little smile back at her. Realization in his eyes.
She looked at him a long moment, no words passed between them. There was no need.
Little did she know she would see him again in the most unexpected places.
Back home he was there again. Now she found out who he was, but it took another year before they spoke more than a few words of greeting to each other.
Then suddenly he looked at her like no one has ever looked at her before.