Uncle Twitchy wrote:
You know, I don't "get" poetry.
Never have.
Okay, some poems I enjoy -- "Jabberwocky" comes to mind. The humorous works of Ogden Nash. Some of Lord Byron's stuff. Song lyrics.
But that's really about it. To me, it all comes across as just a bunch of angsty teenage girls trying to get in touch with their feelings by writing down the first ambiguous (yet transparent) metaphor they can imagine, formating it in such a way so that it "looks" and "feels" "poetic" (note the separate quotations around each word -- this is deliberate).
Just say what you have to say, dammit.
Now, for some reason, I dig haiku -- as, I believe, has been apparent. That has a certain elegance to it that I can appreciate. I don't know why. And I totally dig beatnik poetry, man, because those cats can wail... but I can't take any of that seriously. It's just too damned goofy. Oh, I can write it like I was being paid to, but I certainly can't take it seriously.
Anyway, once upon a time in my misspent, I-never-got-laid youth, there was an adorable young woman whom I desperately wanted to bed (and never did because I was too much of a pussy back then -- oh, if only I knew then what I know now...) who wrote exactly the kind of poetry I'm talking about.
I wrote a parody of her crap that I'm going to share with you now. She, by the way, thought it was hysterical. These days she teaches high school English and, I hope, is able to make her students appreciate poetry.
Here it is.
-----
Ode to a Gentle Rat
The rat sweeps gently across bated hands
As if
In quiet sorrow
It screams gently, ever on
Undying
A flower bursts on the scene in gentle technicolor
Alive and yet
Not
For it is simply an illusion of beauty
Beauty
Underneath the gentle floor
Lying in gentle wait
To attack an unsuspecting
Rat.
Very nice. I like it. You definitely have a way with words. I'd love to read some poetry by you, even if you don't care to write it.
