There was a little girl. She dreamed of having lots of babies while she played with her dolls and teddy. One night she had a very vivid dream indeed.
In it she was a grown up sitting in a rocking chair. In a greenhouse or a garden. She could hear her parents and sisters and grandparents not far away talking and laughing. She smiles to herself then she hears a new sound. Footsteps. At first she is startled, then she hears a child's laugh.
She turns her head to the new sound and sees a child running towards her.
A shadow is behind the little boy of about 3 or 4. She doesn't know who it could be & she cannot see the face, only a large shadow.
The child suddenly cries out."Mama, Mama, I found You."
All at once she suddenly wants to cry, The little boy, now in her lap, pats her face, and says' "Oh Mama don't cry, We found you."
He gives her a vigorous hug and wet kisses.
She only hears a far off sounding male voice say, "Come on son, let's hurry. Mama will come with us, okay?" and tho' she cannot see his face still, the shadowy figure turns to her and says " You won't be too long?"
She replies, "No I am coming."
Then she wakes up. That was when I was about 13, about that time I was told I had scoliosis. and double curve of the spine in my case.
My sister Andra only had a C-Curve and had to wear a brace.
They had discovered mine to late for that. I went to specialists, chiropractors, massage therapists. I was told the only thing I could look forward to was either a drastic surgery or live with it as best I could.
You wouldn't know I have scoliosis by just looking at me, the double curve compensates for it self and with massage therapy is under a certain amount of control. But one bone specialist told me in brutal terms what I could expect if I were EVER to allow myself to gain weight suddenly, such as if I were to become pregnant. The sudden weight gain at the beginning of the fourth or fifth month would cause either my spine to go down on itself or as has happened a few time cause the rib cage and breast bone to push outwards from my chest and crush my lungs and heart. Or I would never
be able to ever carry to term, or miscarry. I am also twisted in the pelvic bones and have problems with that as well.
So I decided I probably couldn't have babies after all. Or die trying.
That made me very sad; it still does.
I just didn't want to risk my babies lives after I found that out.
I was crushed.
But I do have my nieces and nephews, I love them like my own.
Something in them knows I love them beyond what I would feel if I
were Just their Aunt.
I am also a Mama to them as well.
