For my money?

"No, I'm never going to dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm"

[Cross-posted to the WANderground because I want both group's opinions on this]

"I saw Matt Dillon in black and white/There ain't no color in my memories
He rode his brother's Harley across the TV/While I was laughing at Dom DeLuise."

Eugh.

How 'bout:

Cause the free wind is blowin' through your hair
and the day surround your daylight there
Seasons cryin' no despair
Alligator lizards in the air

This ought to be a contender:

"One day they blew him down in a clam bar in New York
He could see it comin' through the door as he lifted up his fork."

How about:

"In this mental institution, lookin' out through these iron bars
How could he put me in here, how could he go that far
Yes I need help but not this kind, he didn't love me from the start
But it's not my mind that's broken, it's my heart"

Hee.

Those're pretty funny.

Some representative lyrics from "Rasputin" by Boney M:

RA-RA-RA-SPEW-TEEN!
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone!
RA-RA-RA-SPEW-TEEN!
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on!

"This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies
But the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us" they kept demanding
And he really came

RA-RA-RA-SPEW-TEEN!
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head!
RA-RA-RA-SPEW-TEEN!
Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead!
Oh, those Russians...

putrid!

"I am," I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair

Good call, Steve!

I believe Dave Barry voted the above as the worst lyrics of all time, even beating out "Someone left a cake out in the rain."

Abra, abracadabra
I wanna reach out and grab ya.

Great song, silly lyrics.

Holy Diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becoming of me

Ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he's clean
Oh don't you see what I mean

Gotta get away
Holy Diver

Shiny diamonds
Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue
Something is coming for you

Race for the morning
You can hide in the sun 'till you see the light
Oh we will pray it's all right

Gotta get away-get away

Between the velvet lies
There's a truth that's hard as steel
The vision never dies
Life's a never ending wheel

Holy Diver
You're the star of the masquerade
No need to look so afraid

Jump on the tiger
You can feel his heart but you know he's mean
Some light can never be seen

Anything from Air Supply.

It would have been merely bad if not for the bit about the chair. Of course, a chair is still a chair, even if there's no one sitting there. But a chair is not a house...

almost got Diet Coke to come out my nose with that one!

I hate to say this, being a huge Beatles fan, but this rhyme always makes me cringe.....

My love don't give me presents
I know that she's no peasant

I think that Yoda lyrics are some of the worst. You know, where they reverse the subject and verb to make the rhyme fit.

Like:

"Will I stand in your presence / Or to my knees will I fall?"

To your knees will you fall, yes, hmm?

I've always disliked that lyric, too. Just the other day my mother was complaining about the poor grammar of:

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start that you
Would love me more than her

"Why would she love the other woman more than she loves him?" she argued.
"Shut up," I agreed.

the all-time worst for me:


billy mack is a detective down in texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is

steve miller - take the money and run.

Wiggle wiggle wiggle like a bowl of soup
Wiggle wiggle wiggle like a rolling hoop
Wiggle wiggle wiggle like a ton of lead
Wiggle you can raise the dead.

Wiggle till you're high wiggle till you're higher
Wiggle till you vomit fire

"'Cause I speak of the pompatous of love."