Somebody please ban me. I'm out of control. I don't know what's gotten into me. Maybe I should take my medication.

What's it like to be banned? Does it feel good? Does it hurt? Does it leave a scar?

Some people have to ask to be banned.

I was banned without even trying.

Some have ban-ability, some don't.

Byron Bancroft "Ban" Johnson (1864-1931), first president of the American League (1900-1927)

I just got back from the doctor. I have something called "I'm One" fever. It's a virus that attacks the central nervous system, often on a Friday, or just before, in anticipation of Jimbo's Friday List. There is no cure, but symptoms can be relieved with medication called "Smilies." Here's one now:


Here's another one:


Ooooooooooooooooh, that feels so GOOD.

Thanks for the bans. I didn't know anybody cared.

New avatar for Greg:

Thanks, Linda. I love it.

NOW BAN ME, DAMN IT!!! WHAT'S A GUY GOTTA DO???

Be more like Chris.

Thanks for the advice, Linda, but I gotta be me.

I'm thinking about giving up my campaign to be banned. Maybe it isn't worth it. Can I keep the avatar, though?

Oh you flatter me so, Miss Linda!

How about a new banning for good measure??

Consider it yours.

Not while you're wearing your official ICE labcoat.

Throw me a frickin' bone here, will ya??

I want a lab coat. Can I have a lab coat?

I brought this on myself.

The things I do for Miss Linda!

I'll never get banned. I know it. Nothing ever goes the way I want it. I'm such a loser. I'm going to buy myself a sweater with a zig-zag horizontal stripe and get depressed every Christmas and keep trying to kick that football, even though I know it's always going to be pulled away.

I think my dog just won the Christmas Lights contest.

$.05 for some psychiatric advice.

A belated birthday present for you, Greg ...

I'm banned!!! I'm banned!!!

LET THE WILD RUMPUS START!

(Thanks, Linda.)

If I was feeling inspired, I'd try to come up with some lyrics to "Ban Me," sung to the tune of Roger Miller's "Dang Me." But it's just not coming.

Well here I sit, gettin' ideas
Ain't nothin' I say gets these IMWANkers pissed
Blatherin' on and postin' wild
Linda sits there and says, "Eh, that's mild."

Ban me, ban me
They oughta shut me down and can me
Like Chris and his Bay City
IMWAN, would you 86 me?

Just sittin' around chattin' with the rest of the guys
Six posts vulgar, and I wrote five
Spent half the night on an off-topic rant
Still I can't get anyone to tell me I can't....

Ban me, ban me
They oughta shut me down and can me
Like Chris and his KISS Army
IMWAN, would you 86 me?

They say roses are red and violets are purple
My user privileges they refuse to usurp-le
Well I've tried to be a son of a gun
What the hell I gotta do to offend someone?

Ban me, ban me
They oughta shut me down and can me
Like Chris and his "Venmity"
IMWAN, would you 86 me?

Yeah, something like that.