Good morning, EveryWAN! Wakey, wakye! It's a beautiful day! Breakfast is on! Here it is!

1 cup of asparagus juice (freshly squeezed).

1 peice of dry, whole wheat toast

1 small bowl of broccoli yogurt

1 slice of organic lime

1 (half) piece of celery

Mmmm...enjoy, EveryWAN!

Any chance of some real food?

Why? What's wrong with this? It's healthy and delicious.

Asparagus is nasty. Brocolli belongs in ranch dressing, not yogurt. You know what goes in yogurt? Raspberries. Boisenberries. Strawberries. Blueberries. Blackberries. Any kind of berry. Celery has absolutely no nutritional value and tastes like yuck. Toast is only good for sopping up egg yolk and absolutely MUST be buttered. Lime is great when it's squirted in something, like, say, Pepsi.

For breakfast I want two eggs sunny side up, am 8 oz. ribeye steak on the rare side of medium rare (peppered, no steak sauce), hash browns, a tall glass of cold, cold milk and another glass of freshly squeezed orange juice (I don't care if you leave the pulp in or not -- I've no horse in that race), and a nice toasted cinnamon roll.

THAT's breakfast.

Oh. If you steam the brocolli -- lightly, so that it's kelly green colored but not too soft, still needs to be slightly crisp -- I will allow brown lemon butter instead of the ranch dressing.

But for dinner, as a side dish, NOT for breakfast and certainly NOT in yogurt.

That's like, a gazillion calories.

But if that's what you really want...ok...hold on. I'll have it ready for you by noon, 1 at the latest!

My favorite, thanks Francine!


































(Stealthily dumps plate into nearest potted plant)

You're totally welcome, Robert!


...hey, wait a sec...

So?

♫ It's like plain frosted wedding cake
A free bite when you've already ate
The good advice that you just can't take
The food that throws off...your figure... ♪

Since when did you become image conscious?

C'mon -- have a nice steak and egg breakfast. Yummy, yummy steak... yummy, yummy eggs... you know you want to...

No, thanks, lol. I'll stick with my celery and dry, whole wheat toast.

Besides, steak is like, a once a year food. Not for breakfast!

Mmmm... yummy, yummy steak...

(Liberally seasoned with pepper, but nothing else. And it's got to be on the rare side of medium rare. That way you can still taste the meat. I don't want it mooing -- that's a little too much for me. But still pink. Ideally, charred on the outside, pink on the inside.)

Yummy, yummy steak...

Undercooked? Wouldn't you rather have some yogurt ice cream and fresh strawberries?

You know what's awesome? Boisenberry frozen yogurt.

I had fresh strawberries and homemade shortcake (with a slice of fried ham steak to add savory to the sweet) for dinner last night.

And that's not undercooked -- that's steak cooked properly.

I would like a steak right now, cooked medium though, not medium rare. I like a little pink in the center but more fully cooked than medium rare. Please have it ready for me by noon, Francine.

It can be a good idea to load up on calories first thing in the day, especially so if you're an athlete, which of course Twitchy isn't, but even then it's better to fuel up than not to fuel up.

Can I substitute a Cinnabon for the dry toast?

Boy howdy!

I think I'll just stick with my coffee and cigarettes, thanks.

Ok, Jeff. However, it's almost noon now. But don't worry, it should be ready by 4 or 5 at the latest.